伤口上撒盐的滋味..

在伤口上撒盐的滋味，

已经不是第一次尝试了，可为何还是有点痛呢？

我以为我已经麻木了..

我不断地回想，过去的种种，一切一切我经历过的

我以为我已经成熟到可以接受任何打击的阶段了

可，今天我才天真地发现，原来自己并不是

*

一个缘字很重要，

它把不同世界的人连接了起来

它也把不同世界的人分隔了起来

我不想做多余的猜测也不想做多余的揣摩

相信缘会把我带到我应该面对的人、事、物

*

有时候很想呐喊！

想呐喊说，我也会有累的时候

我不是铁人，我不是！我不是！！

有时候我也需要人家反过来关心我

我累了，

每每都是我主动地关心、踏出第一步

很想问说，是否也有人记得我呢？

记得说我也是个普通人，

我也是个需要关心、需要爱的一个人..

不想浪费眼泪再无必要的地方，虽然有些已不自觉地流出

我也很忙，没有时间浪费在那里..

文章的最后，想告诉自己说

“张恩万是坚强的，我不怕未来有多苦多难，只要坚持信念，绝望也会变成希望”

Clearer mind

After a long talk with a friend, finally get back a clearer mind..

Through that talk, I realized that there so much that I missed out..

Perhaps sometimes, I am too ego to admit my own mistakes and blind-spots.

The friend of mine told me that understanding is a very important element in sustaining relationship, in all kind of relationship..

No matter is with family members, friends or even lover.

It's really been a long time that I'm blind in these area.

Really a big thank you for getting me back to this clearer stage.

I know what to do up next already..

Thanks again ya.. ^^

久违的更新

好久都没有更新部落格了，

是累了吗？是没有灵感吗？

好像都有吧..

*

最近的我依然忙碌的没话说，

可每天都有时间上网检阅电邮等等的

好久都没有开MSN了，

因为真的很不想去CHAT

一旦MSN一开，当有人敲你时，多多少少也要回复一下

但我就是很懒...

*

有个消息要分享，

我申请了Exchange，明天晚上会去面试

不懂会不会过，但至少我告诉说我尝试过

如果过了，我会很开心吧！

因为终于可以冲出马来西亚，到外面去看看世界

*

话说回来，最近的我好像有点低落

因为种种的问题，让我不自觉地担心起来

最近发现自己越来越接受不了某个朋友的言行举止

因为太假了吗？

还是因为看不过眼？

我想都有吧！因为太假所以看不过眼吧..

很想说，开心就是开心，不开心就是不开心

为什么要装呢？

难道不开心的时候装作一副很开心的样子会让自己开心点吗？

也不想和她摊开来说，

因为我觉得最近的她总是误解我的意思

算了吧，如果是真的误会的话，时间会证明一切的..

*

说到课业，我还真的蛮佩服自己的淡定

明明就有很多东西等着自己，

可是我还可以慢慢磨的

不想给自己压力也不是这样吧!!

还有几个星期就考试了，书动都还没动

手上又有好几个Research，接下来的我应该也就是忙得焦头烂额了吧！！

加油加油加油~~~~

LCP election in TuC

Last saturday, we went to TuC for the central region LCP election..

Oh ya, LCP means Local Committee President and TuC means Taylor University College

It's been a long day over there..

Don't wanna talk much about the process because it might be boring for those that are not interested in..

What I can say is that it is a great experience when you see your friends are up there giving out speeches and trying to convince us their ability to become LCP in the coming term..

I kinda can understand their feelings and when you see them trying their best to achieve their dreams, it is kinda touching..

But when it come to the results part, I am kinda surprise and not..

I know it's weird when I say that but this is what I feel..

Way before the election, I had this kind of feeling where this thing might happen

But I don wish that to happen because I can see the passion and spirit within him

Not saying that she don have the passion and spirit, but I just hope that both also will pass the VoC (Voice of Confidence) and they will have equal chance for the LCP position ma..

This is just because I can see both of them having the great passion and spirit for it..

Just feel a bit unfair and pity toward him

Don't really know the reason for his lost but he's almost there.. just two more..

Besides that, I felt happy for the other candidate as well where she did her best and her hardwork pay in the end..

All the best for her interview later, I believe she can do it de..

A better emotion regulation

I wish that I had that..

Recently I'm doing the proposal regarding emotion..

The more I touched about emotion, the more I discover that I am not really good in emotion regulation..

I wish that I have a better EQ..

I did change a lot but all that are still not sufficient to make me a better person..

When doing assignment, I do need more and more patience to explain and accept others' POV

When doing AIESEC TM stuff, I do need to be more and more understanding when you are working with the person that you besong

When doing nothing in the room, I do need more and more passion and motivation to ensure that I'm in track..

I always wish that I can become a successful motivator where I able to motivate and help people..

But now the matter is that, seems like need to overcome the emo problems before I manage to motivate people..

This few weeks, there too many things happened that forced myself to look into this problem..

Gosh, do you know that within this few weeks, how many things and also people around me that I felt besong to..

Haiz, I wish I have a better emotion regulation...

我的爱，不想那么帅

这是一本小说，是校园小说

可以说得上一本有意思的书

作者运用很细腻的形容方式将主角的心思写出

很清楚地带出了青少年叛逆、懵懂无知和不知所措的心态

小说内没有轰轰烈烈的爱情

有的却是细水长流的感情..

女主角背后的故事使得她的人生在灰黑的色彩中度过

然而，她有幸的遇上她的曙光，使得光彩渐渐回到她的生命中

*

我之所以将它写下是因为我深深地感受得到作者的用心

一本小说要在万千本书中脱颖而出不简单

要让人看了依然念念不忘更是不容易

要写本畅销可又不失意义的书所花费的心思和时间应该不少吧！

*

看了它，让我觉得爱情，不一定要轰轰烈烈

不一定是细水长流

但唯一可以确定的是，

它一定是属于你自己独一无二的爱情故事

除此之外，看完它后，我觉得自己很幸福

因为我有疼爱我的家人

关心我的朋友

和永不自我放弃的灵魂

proposals..

Yea, now I'm straggling with two proposals..

one for kaedah eksperimen and another one is for kaedah penyelidikan

two different topic but need to hand in in the same week

Am doubting whether I can handle that smoothly or not..

Besides these two proposals, there are still bundles of assignments

Less time for me now compare to last sem but I hope I can do well in self-management

No more time wasting on Facebook, novel, games and drama...

Most of my time will be occupied by studies, assignments, AIESEC TM stuff, Kolej activities..

Hope that the outcome for this time is what I wish to see in future..

新生活方式

从这个学期开始，我就告诉自己一定要有所改变

在我枯乏的生活中增加了许多的活动和节目

大学第二年了，我希望自己的大学生涯是精彩的

而不是由书本陪伴着度过的三年

这是为什么我决定参与AIESEC和额外多学德语

AIESEC给与我的东西我不会形容

它包含太多太多了

在里头我学会了如何不怕生、多方面地去探讨会员们的问题、认识不少人

我想，我在TM的经验真的可以帮到我很多

无形中，我会把课业上学到的东西实践在会员们身上

我想，我最爱的应该是如何去引导和影响别人吧！

说到德语，是真的有点头痛

不是很懂得

但我想只要我相信，我一定可以的~~~

这些东西都不是在我原先计划中的，

但我去觉得它们的存在让我更加的珍惜时间

我的第二年第二学期将会是超级无敌地忙碌

但我相信我将会乐在其中...