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Christmas Celebration


This year christmas wasn't as usual where I usually celebrated in Penang with my family members
So, this year christmas was a bit different and special...

Celebrating christmas at Sunway with Kelly AMY, MeiWen, Qiqi, Sharon, AiMing, ShuShean and a few of Kelly AMY friends...
It was great when hanging out with friends although there's nothing much that we had done..
1st time going MOS, honestly, I think it was terrible, the atmosphere made me wanna vomit..
Hmm... maybe that would be the sign that I am not suitable to be inside ba!!
I love dancing, but not that kind of random type of shaking here and there ba..
Square dances are 1000000000 times more fun and enjoyable!!!



at Sunway

after countdown, we went to Asia Cafe near there after chitchat for around 1 hour, we headed back to Kelly's house..
after settle down everything, it's almost 4 in the morning le...
Thought there would be any pillow talk session, but I guess everyone was too tired to have that ba..
Just talk a little bit of gossip then we all surrendered..

The next morning, we went to IOI mall to have Movie of ALVIN and the Chipmunks 2
It's nice anyway!!
Walking here and there after the movie ended and went back at around 5pm..
I was along with Qiqi and MeiWen, heading to MV because I suppose to meet up my sister there while both of them going back UKM lo..

ThE other thing that I wanna share is that I finally watched AVATAR le..
It's really nice and make people start to realize what we exactly did and what exactly happened in this world.
Not only the story line make me feel enjoy watching it, but also the scene..
There were too many beautiful scenes..
If you had the chance, go and watch it.. It's worthy!!!

2009 Christmas with no christmas dinner
no exact countdown
not in Gurney Penang
but with Friends
with Sister and her BF
with 2 movies
and ShoPping~~
Not that bad BUT I Enjoyed it :)


while waiting to enter the hall

悲伤的冬至

冬至,应该是一家人团圆的时候
可是今年的冬至,却是充满眼泪的

眼睛哭到累了
事情却好像越变越糟
不想告诉别人到底发生了什么事
明天看到我红肿的双眼
请不要问我

BlogsSsSs...

It's been quite sometime that I din't update my blog le..
Because I'm now helping my dad at our own family business ma..
Everyday after work will be very very tire, so ma no energy to write any blog liao lo..

By the way, talking back to the topic, "BlogsSsSs..."
Why would it be le??
Because I just realize that among my secondary classmates, almost all of them have at least a blog..
and most of them are connected..
unlike me, my blogs usually visited by my Uni frens and a couple of my best frens..

Perhaps, this is what make me different from them gua..
During my form 4 form 5 time, never doubt that there are bundles of groups among our class
and as I know, there is a huge group among that and if not mistaken they are still connected
I guess this is what make up prejudice ba, categorization ma..
Till now, I still do not have good impression and perception about them..
I do not know what to say about that but as I mentioned before,
there wasn't much good memory about them, neither the whole class..

Perhaps I'm the kind of who do not like to form big big group but a small small group???
hmmm.. wondering..
Even now, when I'm back in Taiping,
I just hang-out with couple of my best frens niah..
I never hope that I will have a bundle of close frens, but I really hope that I can maintain the friendship between 5 of us..
It's neither a big number nor a small number
just hope to maintain it lo...

BlogsSsSs...
I guess blog really can help in maintaining relationship and also letting us to understand someone more
Yet, I'm the only one that like to blogging always
I'm the one that always write and the rest 4 of them always reading lo..
Not saying tired of it
because I really love to express it out in blog sometimes
but, If let says the rest of them also start blogging frequently, then it's a better way for us to understand each other ma..
Knowing them for almost 8 years liao, but still not really know very very deep..
just Hope Hope Hope and hope lo...

暂别

我想是应该趁我还有些些的时间

告诉大家我将暂别这个部落格咯

没想到的是,假期的我反而更加的忙碌

最近的我都在帮忙我爸店里的生意

等到放工时,我都已经累得不想多动了

更不用说频频的更新部落格了

所以,我在这里郑重地宣布,

“我的。。”将停止更新一直到我有空为止吧!!

应该也是以两个月以后的事吧~~

掰掰咯大家~~

^^

2012

曾经答应说我会把它写下的

好吧!那就简简单单的把握地感受写下吧!

*

2012,是我在第一次无眠长达31小时后去看的

也是第一次坐在第一排

可以想象到说我是看的有多么的辛苦吧

但很惊奇的是,我看到最后并没有什么辛苦的感觉了

一切一切都被那震撼和感动的画面被掩盖过了

*

不想透露太多故事内容

可是我想分享我的感受···

不想隐瞒说2012的几个画面让我忍不住地泪流满面

不至于稀里哗啦的哭法

但就是那种泪盈满眶、眼泪忍不住自己掉下来的那种

*

让我感动的地方有很多

因为2012着重的是人情

有许多幕让我不禁的感慨起来

2012显现的是人性

人性的丑陋、人性的伟大等等的

我真的很想说,2012真的是一部值得一看的电影

我不懂别人的感受

但,我想,这是一部让我想很多的电影

*

如果,2012年,世界末日真的发生了

那我想,我会是认命的那位

当然,如果我真的注定要死于这世界末日

我不会反抗

但我会回想起我活在世上的每个日子

至少我可以很光荣的告诉自己说,

我没有白活过···

感觉上,有些许的悲观

但我认为是乐观

因为我感谢老天爷让我在世的20多年来,

不曾留下遗憾

至少现在的我是没有遗憾的..

感谢天让我有爱我的家人

感谢天让我有关心我的朋友们

感谢天让我曾经有过无数的朋友,即使有些已经不是了

感谢天让我曾经有过最光辉的日子

感谢天让我曾经拿过第一、代表过学校去全国赛、还有在千人面前指挥过

感谢天给了我无数的喜怒哀乐

让我可以很理智地度过我的人生...

怎么感觉上我好像在留我的遗言一样呢?

别误会啦,这只是很感性的想法罢了

即使2012年世界末日真的会发生

我依然会积极地活下去

因为我不会做让自己后悔的事的!!!

*

2012真的很棒!还没看的朋友一定要看~~~

What A wonderful nite with my lovely Psykid sisters~~

At first I thought of writing this blog post when I just arrived at my friend's hostel..
Ya, now I am staying illegally at my friend's hostel in UKM Titiwangsa with another friends of my la..
But din manage to do that because that we need to rush for the 2012 movie which is shown up at 3Pm lo... Rushing there made me failed to do that la, but it's really a EXCELLENCE show!!!!
I'll share about that in the next coming blog post la!!

Talking back to the title of this blog post, I really wanna share about the night that I spend with my lovely Psykid sisters.
Although this is not the first time having the Psykid Trip which we called it as PT,
and not the first time go Pasar Malam and having pillow talk
But that would be the first time that we actually spend the whole night in different places lo..
The most COOL part for me is that total 13 of us actually drive 4 cars with around 3 persons in the car wor..
It's really 拉风to me la.. p/s: it means that very cool and geng la..
and the second part of that is that we finally go and visit Melia's house le~~~
Melia, do allow me to say this!!!!
It's really a big and fantastic house that I ever stay over in!! and the part that make me feel so impressive is that the design of the whole house was handle by her father..
What a talented father, really extra ordinary lo~~
The first impression of me toward her room is that: It's a hotel room, not a normal person's room!!
I believe that now you guys can imagine about that le~~~

After Pasar Malam, we actually when Ampang's Look-Up-Point
It's the first time for me to do that la
Quite impressive to see the night scene in KL
and quite touchy and really got feeling when I saw that de~~
After 12, then we get back into car and headed back to Melia's house.

After all of us settle down, it's already almost 2 in the morning le..
as usual, there's a pillow talk session!!
This time it's a bit too short compare to the previous session lo..
still, I think that the topic are still the same la~~ hehe^^
The reason that it was short is because our dear Sharon need to go to LCCT before 5.25am...
and the main point here is that our dear ShuShean offer herself to drive her there..
For me who never been to airport offer myself to squeeze along la..
Through and flow almost consume us 2 hours..
Within that 2 hours, I really impressed!!
Our ShuShean is really GENG and I totally salute her!!!!!

The consequence of following along make me break my own record!!
For the first time, I din sleep for 24 hours le~~
and now, actually I'm making another record le!!
Now is 10Pm, means I din sleep for almost 38 hours le~~~~
What a record!!!!!!
^_^v

蜕变中

我不一样了

真的不一样了

就像毛毛虫一样,蜕变成了蝴蝶了

*

所谓的蜕变

代表的是我的思想

以前的我会抗拒很多东西

虽然现在还是会抗拒某些

但至少我变得更加的沉稳了

*

我很感谢也很感恩说

在我大学生涯中

有一班和我有如家人般亲密的系友们

她们真的好像我的家人一样

让我第一次感受到自己原来是那么如此的不一样

我们总共有十八位

而我很意外的,成了老幺

因为我通常都是朋友堆中扮演老大的角色的

*

我想,她们是见证我蜕变的最好人证吧

不懂她们有没有发现到呢??

很好奇~~

我想,我应该好好地介绍一下她们+他吧!!

~::*Psykid家族*::~

大姐:Grace

她是我们之中唯一不大懂得华语的,可是她却蛮有心得在学着

是个很可爱又直爽的女生

跟她在一起让我明白了很多有时我看不开的东西

也让我的英文进步不少吧!!

她是我会倾诉的对象,虽然不多

二姐:淑璇

一开始觉得她很酷

不爱参我们

不爱给予任何的表情,

是AIESEC CommunicationDepartment的Executive

可是,当我最近参了AIESEC后,发现原来她还蛮废的

而且还蛮爱酸我的,可以感觉到我们的距离有挪进了一大步了

三姐:沁怡

老实说,我跟沁怡的交接好像不是很多

不过,她是一个很爽直的人

不会是没有话题聊的朋友

四姐:雪倪

曾经为我的经历而哭泣的朋友

当时我还蛮感动的,因为从来就没有人为我自己的经历流泪过,除了自己

最近不懂怎么了,好像没什么交接了

或许她很忙吧!常常都没法看到她

五姐:琬淋

唯一一个跟我好友同名的

不过写法不大一样啦

跟沁怡是好好好友,同样的,我跟她的交接也不多

她很忙的,是华文班的秘书

很爱华文班

六姐:美妏

我想,没有人比她认识我更久了吧

我们常常被人说是姐妹,

可是我们一点都不像啊

她是我在大学里第一个真心想把她当好友的人

虽然我们两人的想法有时候很不一样

摩擦是有的,可是我们还是依然那么友好

七姐:李舫

她是我FacNite是的伙伴

感觉上很文静,可是其实还蛮多话聊的

我觉得她是很女人的代表

有个稳定的男友,应该快结婚了吧??

记得请我们喝你的喜酒哦~~

八姐:李韵

她跟李舫是双生儿

可是跟姐姐却有着不一样的感觉

她给我很女孩的感觉

让人想保护的对象

可是她对自己很没有信心

好想告诉她说你其实很好了,要有信心嘛!!

九姐:颖怡

她是个很传统的女生吧!

所谓传统不是代表保守

而是说,她很温柔贤惠

颖怡有着很招牌的咪咪眼,看了让大家都可以深深地感受到那喜悦的感觉

十姐:美君

她也是一个很温柔、文静的女生

感觉上静静的、也很随和

在饥饿30活动里,有着让我惊讶不已的表演

那举动让我深深地记得香香和蕉蕉

十一姐:韵璇

她是让我觉得跟自己很像的人

很爱看她的部落格

她也和六姐一样,是我部落格的常客

她们的留言都是鼓励我继续的动力

还记得刚开始的时候觉得她很“大姐”

并不是很爽

可是,也不懂从何时开始

慢慢地看到了不一样的见解

原来她并不是我以为的那样

十二姐:翠婷

她讲话有点串,表情也很串

可是我们都知道那是她的Pattern了

她很爱上网,几乎每次上网都会看到她

基本上,她是负责我们Psykid家族的IT事务

凡是跟IT有关的,我想大多都是她在搞的.. 佩服佩服!!

她也是个很关心我的姐姐,虽然我没告诉她她问我的那些..

十三姐:祖儿

她很随和、亲切

有时候有点Blurblur

有着自己的一段故事,但依然很坚强的面对

最近的她很幸福,希望幸福永远跟随她

十四哥:兴杰

他是我们当中唯一的男丁

该说是幸还是不幸我也不知道

我觉得有时候他还蛮可怜的

因为是唯一的男生,

所以常常被指点去做东西.. 而我就是常常那么做的那位~~ ^^

不过,总的来说,他是个理解能力很强的人,居然在大学中拿过4 flat!!!

十五姐:Sharon

她是个很有想法的女生

喜欢各式各样的民族服饰

很爱睡觉,因为每次叫她一起吃午餐时,她缺席的理由就是回去睡觉

跟她还算不错,因为大家会分享用电饭煲的心得嘛!

十六姐:美怡

她就像个傻大姐一样

长得很像日本妹、有千金小姐的气质

虽然她并不是千金小姐啦!

但她很亲切、很真挚

是大家煲戏时重要的角色,因为她就是那供应商啊!!

十七姐:秀淇

她是我大学唯一一个室友

虽然现在大家都是一个人一间房啦

她是个心思细腻的人

有时候很敏感,会想很多的人

我觉得反而现在我更加地了解她了,

适当的距离让我们的摩擦少了,

从而让我发现更多她的世界..

而我,就是那第十八妹

不是很喜欢十八妹的称呼,

觉得有点很俗气

可是大家好像很爱那么叫我,尤其是十一姐!!!

算了吧,大家开心就好啦~~

*

天啊!我居然花了接近两个小时多来形容她们+他

真是佩服自己的能耐啊!!

[caption id="attachment_180" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Psykid全家福"]Psykid全家福[/caption]

System Restore...

I guess all of you know that previously I was damn stress
never want to deny about that, and now I still feel stress but not that much already

I wish my life can like the laptop, whenever somethings wrong, just choose system restore and everything will be fine and Okay already..
Yet this the reality, So that means I need to take off the fantasy and walk back to the reality life.

Previously, when I talked to Grace regarding the changes in me,
I was quite shock when she told me that the changes that she sensed in me was that the friendliness of mine..
She told me that previously I was hard to approach, not as friendly as now
I never thought I was that obvious.
I guess that's because of my defense mechanism.
I tend to put myself on a mask to protect myself
and I don't actually know since when I was like that,
was it after the Matriculation time?
Was it after the secondary school period?
Honestly, I have no idea...

Talking back to my secondary school period,
there wasn't much that I can say about
I think that time I was not easy to approach as well
Senior once told me that I was COOL
Back to my classroom, classmates say I was fierce and irritating
When I knew that they think that I was irritating,
I was quite sad, really, SAD..
and no one actually know what I felt..

I guess since I really get myself into mature duration,
these things never stop happening
Am I too rational that I always spoiled things?
especially during that stupid adolescent time?
Sometimes, I asked myself, why?
why should I be mature that early?
Why I just cant enjoy that time as innocent and as stupid as others?
Why must I think that much?
Why my social skills that poor?
hundred and thousand of questions ran through my mind,
just hope to get an answer...

talking back to the conversation with Grace,
she said that I was so good in hiding my emotions
because she always see me in a very cheerful, happy mode rather than the sad mode that I claimed..
Never deny about that, I was hiding
I was not used to telling people about my problems
and sometimes, I hope that I can
just that I really not used to it
My dad used to be the one, I guess is just him..
at least now is just him..
Even my closest friends, I never tell them at the moment that I feel bad or sad
I'll tell them afterward, during the once in awhile gathering
I guess this is me, ya, this is what make up ME!!!

Hope that I can now at least try to tell someone other than my dad
Hope that this stupid defense mechanism will disappear
Hope that everything will like system restore,
once restore and things getting back to NORMAL mode

宁静的夜_我的回忆

今天,感觉上没有要温习的心情
刚刚回想了过去19年来自己的心态
*
从小,我就是一个很爱逞强、爱面子、不服输的小孩
不懂何时开始,成绩就是我证明我实力的方法
我从来就不懂被抛在后头的感觉是如何
因为我从来就不曾..
一直到小六结束时,
UPSR成绩出炉了, 而我可笑的竟是被抛在后头的~~
我一直引以为傲的华文作文,竟然是害我跌倒的!!
*
跌倒过,明白了那种被人抛在后头的感觉了
所以我很奋力的念书
我想证明说我比别人都强
想证明给嘲笑我的人
*
终于,我的付出得到了回报
从此,我就很害怕失败的感觉
所谓失败不是什么
而是被抛在后头的感觉
*
或许我很幸运
也或许我真的很拼
一直到我中五毕业
我的成绩都是标青的
至少在我家人眼中是!
至少我能做到让父母感到光荣的女儿
至少让出身于咖啡店的我们向别人证明说我们是强的
因为我知道,
其实妈妈没说但她是自卑的
当看到父母脸上的光荣,
让我感到欣慰
至少我为我们家争光了
*
这种念头到了预科班时
更是强烈了~~
我告诉自己,
只要辛苦那一年
一年就好了
痛苦过了,彩虹就会来到我的世界了
我很想在Matric时拿到4Flat
好让父母可以光荣的告诉人家说,
“我女儿Matric是4Flat毕业的”
至少我的人生中曾经拿过4Flat
感谢天,祂让我的梦成真了
*
现在,
到了大学第二年了
什么感觉都没有了
不管是为了不被抛在后头还是要为了父母而争光
都好像撼动不了我了
*
距离考试越来越近了,
而我却到现在没能解决此困境
怎么办呢??
我不想看到父母脸上失望的表情
我不想看到自己得到成绩是晴天霹雳的表情
我不想说1st Year辛苦累计的成绩被这次连累
还有很都很多的不想,
但我还是提不起劲
只能告诉自己加油咯~~
尽力就好吧!!

害怕

生平第一次,我感到害怕了

害怕考试的来临

时间越来越少

成功装进脑子里的并没有越来越多

没把握啊!!!

*

除了考试

昨天,我真的害怕了

我房间出现了两只大蜘蛛

不懂只有两只还是还有更多

就在解决蜘蛛的霎那

感到异常的害怕

是发出内心的怕

*

大蜘蛛

从小就是我的唯一死穴

很怕

真的很怕

*

虽然害怕

但我依然把它们解决了

盼望说

我也能如此冷静的解决我的另一恐惧

changes in me...

I believe that me that you are looking now or knowing now is not the same as the me in the past..
Dare not say huge changes in me..
but I think I really change a lot la..

Changes are good, by the way..
I was once very hot tempter, impatient, rude
er.. although not much improvement
but at least the degree of each bad characteristic already decrease lo..

I'm still learning,
how to become a better person..
through all the social interactions
There's no one in this world is perfect de..
but I hope I can be a better person than now la..

We all learn from mistakes and obstacles
It makes us more strong and tough
and from there we know what's our weaknesses and strength..
After knowing that, then we can try to build up the strength and overcome the weaknesses..

I admit that I'm not a really "good" person...
As I mentioned in the profile description,
I am a quite "radical" person,
when I "beh song" that time I'll directly show out de..
I won't care so much la..
and perhaps because of that, I 得罪lots of people..

Haiz, what to do?
Sometimes really cannot control myself..
At least now better le
because at least now I can tahan not to release the anger out in front of that person...

Sharing all these just because I realise that there's really quite a lot of changes in me la..
If you know me since I was young, then I believe you get what I mean de..
hehe^^

Random~~

Was wondering what to do now~~
assignments still haven't really finish but.. not feeling doing it..
exam is coming and haven't really revision but.. not feeling starting it..
Lastly, think of writing something in this blog site lo~~

Yesterday I found out that my younger sister is currently facing some friendship problem
Thought of can talk to her in MSN or phone de.
but she seems like already go to bed le..
Never mind, I shall call her tomorrow la..

Thinking about her problems,
then I realize that she is actually facing the kind of same thing that I faced in the past..
Not knowing whether this is just a coincident or all the friendship problems are alike la..
Really hope that MM will handle the problem with wisdom lo..

Besides that, I was still wondering about my Psycho-drama..
According to Mr. Boe, it was impressive!!! although I don't know where's the part that impress him la..
Not only that, I think that it is a very simple story line wo~~
Plus we just practice for few hours on that day itself..
Hmm.. really should thank God la..
By the way, Mr. Boe is really a very nice person la
He so nice at sharing his knowledge and feel so glad that he is our tutor
although sometimes his homeworks and assignments almost drive me crazy!!!

Yesterday also,
I went pasar malam with Grace and Siew Chee..
It was a wonderful trip
I spend around RM35 within a single night
Including the transport and also one RM5 de T-Shirt which is very dai de!!!
The rest of it would be food lo~~
haha.. can imagine how much food that I eat within that particular night lo~~
Overall, it was fun... although just 3 of us.. ^^

This post is really random de lo..
I think of anything then me jao write lo..
a bit messy
a bit unrelated to each other
a bit ... too... LAME!!!
:p

New blog template

I just updated the blog template into a new one..
still it is green colour in major..
Because I like green.. ^^

changing the blog template means I lost some of the gadget as well..
so, I make some changes lo..

Personally, I like this new blog template..
seems cool and more artistic compare to the previous one...

Hope you guys like it as well lo~~
^_^

幸福

我发现自己真的很幸福

我身边有很多很多关心我的人

尤其当我post上上个部落时

身边的朋友都很关心

很想在这里告诉大家

我没事了~~

冷战即将步入和解了

因为我终于学会了放下

倍感孤独的中秋

今年的中秋

并没有回家

感到异常的孤独

人家说,独在异乡为异客,每逢佳节倍思亲

现在的我

终于明白了

*

最近,为了面子和口气

跟姐姐闹得很不愉快

即使明白说那只是很小的一回事

我始终拉不下脸

即使姐姐已经不顾面子的拉下脸

我还是很狠心的把它推开

*

爱面子的我

总是喜欢把自己弄得进退两难的地步

很倔强地不愿道歉

很固执地坚守着自己的原则

*

其实我很想大哭一场

告诉她,其实她深深地伤到我了

也想告诉她,其实我很敏感

很想告诉她,我没有她想象中的坚强

我也会想要有依赖人的时刻

否则,我不会不时不时往她家跑

因为我渴望被人呵护的感觉

*

当事情发生后

没有谅解也没有原谅

我很想不计前嫌

可是我始终忘不了那被人背叛的感觉

就连爸爸,我也开不了口告诉他

这一切一切就这样埋在我的心里几个星期了

*

表面上的我好像若无其事

可是我知道

我的心是寒的

是失望的

是孤独的

*

当这样的我遇上了今年的中秋,

我崩溃了

Love=investment??

It's been a long time din update this blog le...
Was kind of busy past few weeks and this going to continue until the end of the final exam ba!!
By the way, yesterday during the AIESEC AG6,
while having the mega world cafe session, there was a guy who bring up this topic!!
"love is like an investment"

hmm... cannot deny what he said but I still don't think so lo..
He said that when people fallen in love, the mostly the guys will have to kind of invest
and the investment of course is about all the treating food, buying presents, time sacrificing and so on..

For me, love is basically build upon trust..
when talking all about "investment", it's kind of materialised the meaning of love already..
if you think lost at the first point you "invest", then what is the purpose of falling in love wor~~

Yala, cannot deny that romance love will fade when the component that of love fade..
It is an investment..
but not as that bad as the guy think lo..

选择性的回忆

如果我说,人生中有许多的回忆

而有些回忆是可以选择性的保留或删除

不知你们同意吗?

*

我曾经有过一段回忆

是连我自己都不知道要如何归位的回忆

曾经,我以为那是我不愿再提起的回忆

我以为它会从我生命中消失

只要我不再去触碰它

可惜,这只是我很鸵鸟的逃避心态

*

一旦成为了回忆,永远就是回忆

怎样都删除不了的

过去了的回忆

怎么改也改不了

错过的,也只能让它随烟而去

消失在空中

*

很想告诉自己

别再去想了

过去的是改变不了了

缅甸过去不是我一贯的作风

无可否认的,

在那过去中,我曾经很开心过

但始终,我最介意的不是那些

*

一个没有解决过的问题,

就像是被埋藏起来的地雷

不去触碰就被遗忘了

可是,当一不小心碰到时

所带来的爆发力

却是无穷地大...

*

今天的我,

不是想埋怨什么

而是想很平静地将我的想法透露

不想再引起任何的误会

不想再一味地沉迷在过去的伤痛中

也不想将这段回忆归类成“等待删除类“

如果可以的话,

我想知道真相

那也只是如果

因为我知道,你们伤得和我一样重

五味参杂...

今天,我的心情像一锅五味参杂的杂锦汤

痛,每月的报到让我身理心里都很不舒服

忧,为还没有做好准备的Quiz担心

乐,自己可以很有规律的完成所定下的目标

烦,今晚的meeting的出席率

恨,不负责任的“人”

其实还有的,

一切一切都应该从那刻开始,

发现“她”在Facebook Add 了我,

approve 了之后,发现她有个Blog

好奇之下,就把她的部落看完了

就在当下,勾起了太多太多回忆

算是美好回忆还是不堪回首的回忆呢?

我也不懂

但我知道,如果同样的事情一再的发生,

我应该还是会做一样的决定的

想了很久,决定在其中一个有关的部落上留言

我也不懂道理这样子做到底是对还是错

或许是因为身理上的不舒服吧!

看着看着,我的心情也跟着沉重起来

因为那一切都勾起了我在Matric不愉快的回忆

Matric时期,我很痛苦

我找不到了解我的人

感觉上每天都是一个人

曾经,她们是我依靠的对象

但日子久了,发现自己融不入

痛苦也随即而来

虽然这些都已经过了接近两年了

可是我忘不了

同样的,我发现我的缘故,使得大家都不好受

我很想知道,难道我是个这么令人讨厌的人吗?

我真的不懂得如何跟人家相处吗?

不然,为何我无法在那一年内寻得知心朋友呢?

朋友啊!

如果你看到这篇部落时,

请不要吝啬的写下你的意见..

虽然我不在意别人的看法,

但这是我个人人格问题吧!

终究应该知道的~~

因为这些回忆,让我苦哈哈得过了一个下午

相信没得到一个答案我是不会甘心的吧!

Dramatic...

yesterday something occurs..
out of a sudden..
although I'm not the one facing it..
still, i can sense that my heart broken..
why shall all this happen ?
just because of anger?
it is really dramatic,
it was still like yesterday that all of us are still close enough..
and now,
everythings changed...

just now,
i was told that everything will be fine..
that is their fate for it,
too much of changes that we try to bring to them..
and the God don't let all this things happen..
so, in another way, they reacted in this ways

hopefully that everything will really be fine..
although we cannot help in changing their fate,
but, i hope and pray that they shall survive in a better way..
dear God, I hope and pray for my aunt and her family to have a comfort life..
hope that things won't be too harsh for them..
hope that our relationship won't change in the way that she wished..
hope that their fate won't be the one that i wish not to see

sadly, i pray all this to my own God..
仙师,愿姑妈一家的命运不会是我不想看到的那种
虽然这是无法更改的命运,但我依旧会盼望有变化的一天
眼泪不自觉地流了满脸,
昨天刚得到消息时,只觉得很愤怒
当愤怒过后,随即而来的是悲伤
伤痛随着眼泪,慢慢地向我倾诉
但,一切都无法改变了
命运改不了

任性

最近的我,很任性

任性地想逃避

任性地不想负责任

任性地颓废

一如上一个部落所说的

我失去自我了

*

今天,知道了MID SEM EXAM 的成绩

很差,真的很差

可是它却再也引不起我的斗志了

朋友很讶异地看着我

当她知道的时候

haiz,

我也不懂,

感觉上,成绩已经不是能激发我的工具了

*

之前,很想说

我很想任性一下

不想面对这么多

可现在的我,

算是已经任性够了

*

难道,成人的世界就是这样吗?

那我可以很任性地说,

我不想长大吗?

我的理智告诉我

不可能

*

有时候在想,

早熟的我是否错过了太多太多可以任性的时候呢?

escape

I feel like my soul is dying recently...
having no reason for everything..
unconsciously i know i'm escaping..
escape from all the responsiblity,hope, expectacy from others...
can I ask myself to stop all these??
can I ask myself not to give myself so much pressure??

I assume that all these while I've been too stress..
I'm so tired and I just wanna escape from all these..
and yet, my superego don't let me do all these..
all these while, when escaping..
deep in my soul, I feel so guilty for it..
guitly for not performing well,
guilty for not responsible at all..

I guess, I'm facing some sort of crisis within me
but, the question is, when will all these end le??

宁静的夜

忘了已经有多久没有静静的享受夜的宁静了

最近的天气都是阴森森的

晚上根本不需要开风扇都很冷

冰冷冷的夜让我想念家里那温暖的床

让我觉得冷冰冰的还有自己的心

*

最近的我,好像已经不是我了

没了动力,就像失去了灵魂

每天为了赶功课而赶

为了考试而赶

我已经忘记了读书的乐趣了

忘了自己寻找的方向

就在这迷茫,冰冷的夜晚

我迷失了自己

*

望着月光,盼望月光能替我寻回遗失了的我

没了灵魂的我,每天过着行尸走肉的生活

就像一台没有生命的机器人

为了达到目标,麻木地工作

*

内心有一股很强的力量想要放弃

放弃我一直追求的梦

可是为什么是在我如此靠近它时呢?

我不甘心,真的不甘心

为什么

为何要如此的耍我?

自己就像被两股拉力拉得几乎要崩溃了

*

继续,我没有动下去的理由

放弃,我不甘心一切就归于零

*

这一切一切的挣扎,让宁静的夜不再宁静~~

BusY...

can I ask myself to stop for a while??
er.. I should say can i ask all the assignments to stop pushing me anymore...
it's really been a busy month after all..
although it is busy time but still i seemed like losing the spirit on it..
I am just doing for the sake of doing it only..
I study just for the sake of exam or quiz..
hmm.. this is not the real me wo~~

I am the one so into study and get knowledge de wor,
how come now all change already??
I seemed like losing the passion on study le..

I just take 16 unit this sem but yet I feel like very very busy..
maybe is dunno how to really manage my time and I am so not motivated ar!!

should I get back to my motivation book and try to remotivate myself??
ArGHHhhh....
what should I really do ar??
Passion oH pAssion,
where are you?
why are you keep playing games with me??
fast fast come back to me la...

I wish that I could make some changes to my life now,
not to blame but appreciate all the stuff that I have..
sO, am I blaming??
er.. maybe gua..
I blamed my passion for leaving me all alone in UKM and with bundle of assignments..
I blamed myself for letting Passion go..

what a busy but meaningless life without Passion!!!
:S
:(

饥饿三十

饥饿三十的活动过了几天了

现在才有时间真正分享我的感受

希望那些感觉并没有走样吧!!

虽然已经将感受都写在blogger 的部落格了,但还是觉得用华语最有feel

*************************************************************************************

第一次参加饥饿三十

没有办法想象自己是如何熬过那30小时的

也是第一次参加生活营

没想到自己是如此容易和人家打成一片的

第一次在30小时内只喝了5次的豆奶

第一次细细的品尝那得来不易的豆奶

第一次睡在SleepingBag上,

是五个人挤在两个SleepingBag上...

第一次参与如此High的演唱会

第一次看到光良,张惠妹,Daniel,Jaclyn VIctor,罗忆诗等等的艺人

第一次为自己生活在马来西亚而感到欣慰

第一次觉得自己是可以为这个社会出一分力的

还有很多很多的来不及说的第一次...

这次的体验,让我体会到更多的东西

很久以前,我记得我写过一篇叫知足就是幸福的部落

到了现在,我才可以算是真正了解到这句话的意义

所谓知足,就是不去埋怨生活上的苦恼和零零碎碎地东西

当我们正在埋怨宿舍没有冷气、没有得上网、食物很难吃等等的东西时,

是否知道,世界上每天有多少人是死于饥荒、疾病...

而现在的年轻人每天都在埋怨

尤其是对父母

还记得在营内是,司仪对我们说了这些让我觉得很感触的一些话

当我们一而再,再而三地向父母提出各种各样的要求时,

有没有想过其实父母并没有责任去达成我们无理的要求..

我们应该感谢父母生我们、养我们

而不是用埋怨的眼神来倾诉我们所谓的不满

我们真的很幸福了

出生在一个没有天灾的马来西亚

并不需要在每天生活的时候,都要提心吊胆的

我们真的很幸福了,

有疼爱我们的父母

有机会上大学

有机会接触到很多不一样的东西...

饥饿三十让我最感动的地方是,当我看到有这么多的人一起为这个世界一起在努力

虽然我不知道有多少人是为了张惠妹而去的

或是为了别的明星而参加的

但我知道我参加的目的并不是为此

因为我知道很多东西,体会过,才会明白那感受

同样的,体会过饥饿,才会明白食物的珍贵

也同样的,体验到这世界的不公平

我们同样出生于这个世界,但为何她们需要面对饥荒、疾病、贫穷的恐吓

同样是人类,为何他们需要过那些不是人过的生活呢?

感受到了那不公平,因而明白自己是多么的幸福

所以适当地调试了自己的心态,觉得这个世界会更加地美丽

因为我是抱着一颗感恩的心去看世界

“知足常乐,活在当下”

Famine 3o hOuRs~~~

the famine 30 hours is really a good experience for me..
I never thought that I can tahan until 30 hours without any intake of solid food!!
really gonna give a round applause to myself lo!!

when I first enter the primary school where our DIY camp took place, I feel like a bit excited because that was my very first time joing camp..
previously I din have any chance to go any camp and i was a bit too lazy to go..
but this camp is really a good start for me la..
although all are UKMer and mostly we know each other le, hmm, not know but recognize the face la..

throughout the process, I felt great because we really work in a team and no arguing and fighting lo..
I enjoyed it very very much..

I am also very touch when I think about ourselves compare to those pity children in all around the world..
I realised that God treated us very nicely where we can have all the basic needs that we want..
Those children have nothing but they never blame
while we, have what they don't have pula keep complaining here and there..
we blame the government, we blame our parents, we blame anything except for ourselves..
That really gave me a great impact onto myself..

after the 24 hours of DIY camp, we went to bukil jalil for the another 6 hours of countdown..
sometimes, I was wondering, whether I come for the meaning of it or just entertainment???
Yes, the last 6 hours is mainly about entertaiment lo..
people there were really HIGH in mood
er.. included me as well.. ^^
especially when A-Mei appear, those people are really like running out of mind..
although we don't have much energy left, we still jumped up and moved our body as the rhythm goes and screamed as loud as possible lo...

Let's have a conclusion on it,
I gain a lot throughout these famine 30 hours..
experience, friends, thoughts and also an appreciation heart...

黄品莹~~

她,是我其中一个死党

即将飞往美国深造

我们认识了将近十年,可是真正交深是在中二的时候

我眼中的品莹是个乖巧的学生

是个早熟的孩子

每每都深思熟虑,露出一脸老神在在的样子

明明就小过我,可是却又好像明白事理过我

每每在聚会的时候,适当的扮演者聆听者的角色

很多时候,我会很GERAM啦

每次都是我在讲,她们好像一直听一直听地

可是每每品莹就会回答我,“你比较会讲嘛!我当聆听者就好”

其实一点都不好!!

朋友之间的聚会就是交流可沟通嘛,干吗不讲话呢??

她是个懂事的人,也懂得规划自己的未来

在我们还未决定好未来时,她已经知道自己想要的是什么了

虽然她每天都说,都是看在钱的份上

可是我想告诉她的是,至少那是你要的

相信自己的选择吧!!

她啊!不该说她是沉默寡言,应该说她是别扭吧!^^

不善于表达于是沉默

也有可能是因为害羞..erm, 这个可能性应该只有百分之一吧!!

因为我认识的黄品莹是很厚脸皮的~~哈哈

现在,这个充满想法的女生即将飞向她的梦想

到美国去圆她的出国深造梦!!

身位好友的我,岂能袖手旁观呢??

没有献上任何物质上的礼物,只好在这里写上动人的几句

再加上精神上的支持,无论你有任何问题,都可以来找我

msn, facebook, friendster, 或者是blog 也可以

我一定尽全力帮你的~~

感动吧?? 我知道你一定会看得,因为是你提醒我要写的

否则还真的不记得了吧!!

老友,保重啊!!到了那里,记得多多和人家socialsocial, 外国是不一样的啊!!

加油咯,等待你毕业的那一天吧!!

友,

恩万上

是时候了

是时候应该加油了

不该在浪费时间在无为的东西上了

应该好好想想自己的目标

好让自己有个前进的方向

奋斗心,你在哪里?

快快出现,让我好好的冲刺一番吧!!

无聊

很久都没为这个部落格写上中文的部落了~~
因为几个原因咯
其一,我有个专写中文的部落格,就是Friendster 的那个
其二,有些朋友不懂得中文啊!
其三,不想为两个部落格写上一样的东西吧,至少,语言不一样
其四,可以加强自己的语言能力嘛!!

不过说真的,我还是比较喜欢写中文,
毕竟,使我们华人的文化吧!!
再加上本人的中文造诣比较好,写出来的东西也比较容易触动心絃

其实,是有点无聊,所以才写上几句的~~ hehe^^

看了韵璇的部落,同意她所表达的
恋爱,应该是顺其自然的,不为任何理由而出现的
为了恋爱而恋爱,不是真爱
为了寂寞而恋爱,不会长久
为了结婚而恋爱,不会幸福
爱,应该是很自然的
没有任何的理由
我相信,爱是上天给予我们的一种福分
当爱情到来时,由不得你说不
爱是种激励人成长的过程
爱让很多人明白什么叫幸福
爱也同是让人明白什么叫痛苦
没有经历过苦的爱,是不会有持久的甜蜜
因为苦过,所以明白当中的痛苦
因而学会珍惜眼前人

步入20岁的我,同样的还未初恋
也同样的,不觉得稀奇
虽然很多人在20岁时,经验已经累积的吓人
我还是我,等待着属于我的缘分,等待着一个爱我我也爱他的那个人
相信一切都是冥冥中注定的,并不需要急于一时吧!!

也看了翠婷的部落,觉得她生活的很充实
有个呵护她的男友,
有忙不完的礼拜天,
其实很想问她,开会都在同一个地方吗?
不然怎样可能连续开两个会议喔??
也很明白她的想法,
因为我姐姐也是这样..
我想恋爱中的女人都是这样的吧??
同时,我也很佩服她常常更新部落的毅力啊!!
不像我,很懒

总的来说,这篇部落是真的很无聊
无聊到自己都觉得无聊
很废吧?? =P

同学??

昨天,搭巴士时遇到所谓的同学

刚开始时,我并没有认得她

因为当时她走得匆忙又戴了个口罩

一时之间并没有认得她就是和我同窗四年的同学

当我认得她时,她却还以白眼

顿时,我觉得她好令人讨厌!!

我认不出你或许是我的疏忽,可是没有理由她认不出我

我还是我,外表并未有多大的改变

由此可见,她是刻意的

以前上课时,就觉得她并不是个容易的角色

年纪小小的时候,就开始耍心计,虚伪的令人讨厌

我没有得罪过她,可她却常常摆脸色个我看,

这还不用紧,她常有意无意的讽刺我

没关系,就当作是我说话太过直接,她接受不了

不但如此,她选择的朋友一定是有一定的利用价值的

或许说,那些人是有某些可以利用的价值,才成为她的朋友的吧??

但是奇怪的是没人发现这点喔!!除了我和我的朋友们

或许是演技太好了吧?

班上的同学却觉得她是个乖巧可爱的

从那时开始,我就很讨厌虚伪的人,所以对她的好感也没有到哪里去

可是心里在想, 毕竟同学一场,也不好表现得太明显

毕竟这是她的选择吧!

可是,过了昨天,我不会再认她为我的同学

如果有可能,我会唱到全世界都知道她原来是酱的一个人

讨厌讨厌!!!

原来同学的定义就是酱~~

亏那些相信她人格的人咯!!

是啦,她很厉害啦,JPA scholar 嘛!!

要出国的,当然看不起手下败将的我咯!!

我也不希罕!!赫~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

好想公布她的名字咯...

好像问3个为什么咯..

cOurSeNiTe~~~

coursenite, 顾名思义就是让同course的大家更加地认识彼此...

所谓的同course就包括了1st,2nd 和3rd year 的seniors..

而刚刚的coursenite很遗憾的没有半个3rd year seniors可以到场~~

不过,没关系啦,大家开心就好~~

就在当下,我觉得很感触..

想想自己刚开始的时候,就连coursenite都想找借口不去..

因为感觉上同学们都很冷漠,彼此之间很陌生~~

我并不是一个很快热的人,没法像我的一些朋友很快就可以与人打成一片

所以,一开始时,很多时候1st year 时的gathering我都避得就避

可是,不懂从何时开始,我们之间的关系起了化学作用~

我们开始慢慢地变熟了,大家开始热络起来了!!

从一开始的生熟到现在的亲密,

这过程让我惊讶不已..

我没想过这会发生,因为一开始我并不是很乐观地看待它

可是很奇妙的是,大家渐渐的越走越近,慢慢地熟悉彼此

我不敢说我和全部的psykids都好到爆啦!

可是至少好过以前吧!!

有人说,关系是靠双方面付出的,单方面的付出只会让彼此的关系更加地拖累

虽然这句话比较适合用在爱情上,但我觉得也可以apply在友情上

朋友之所以成为朋友是因为彼此有link在,

可是,友情可以长久却是因为大家都有付出一定的程度..

单方面的付出只会让付出的人很累,而那段友情也没有意义了

或许是看到有些coursemates的付出,而改变了我对她们的想法

我很珍惜,也很感谢老天爷给了我酱多可爱的coursemates们...

希望我们的关系会越来越好,并证明给别人看,我们这批最多的psykids却是最一致的~~

Fac Nite

FAC NITE 刚刚结束,很累,可是很满足~~

很谢谢大家的出席,尤其是给脸我跟李舧的朋友们!!

关于FAC NITE,其实我并没有什么筹备到,一切都是井树的安排~~

p/s: 不懂名字又没有写错~~

看到他如此的卖力,我也不好袖手旁观啦!!

在他还没到之前就很卖力的解决混乱的情况~~

由于我和李帆都不是很熟那流程,

也只好硬着头皮上咯!!

李帆还很可怜的被骂了~~

可能我太凶了吧!! seniors 都不敢找我来开炮~~ ^^

不过,总的来说,一切都还在掌控之中啦!!

过后大家还是很开心的拍照留念~~

juniors 们的表演很精彩,让我看得津津有味~~

食物也很不错,很值得···

最后,一定要提一提!!

psycho 2nd year 的seniors都很给脸的穿得很美!!

当我知道melia特地回家换衣时,真的很感动~~

看到grace为了我,而不出席重要会议,也很感动~~

看到大家为了我如此的捧场,真的很感动啊!!

还有很多很多还没来得及谢谢的人,

总之,一句话,谢谢大家捧场!!!!!

我爱大家~~~muaksssss

Fac Nite

hmmm.. just came back from Jumbo restaurant at kajang..
it's time to give a total comment on this fac nite lo~~

at first, an urgent situation happened that make us kalam-kabut for a while..
but luckily manage to control the situation..
when reach there by bus, i was shock when i saw the hall in a messy way..
i was not told to do anything except for the transport thing..
so, in order to calm and make everyone settle in their own place, especially the juniors, i terpaksa walk here and walk there, call here and call there...
*hmm.. i should claim my telephone bill from our fac king de~~ *thinking*
by the way, this is not the important part la..
somehow, some seniors did show that they are really not happy with our ways of handling this year fac nite..
they say that we are not organized at all!!
erm, they actually refer this to Lee Fan, which is previous fac queen, my lovely coursemate...
maybe they think i'm fierce enough that they dare not scold me for that but scolding pity Lee Fan..

finally, the missing one arrived and the whole event eventually started!!!
this year food for me is quite nice compare to previous one and more baloi la!! ^_^
and this year performances also very interesting.. i enjoyed laughing at them~~ lolz

Oh ya, I shall really thanks all my lovely coursemates that willing to attend this dinner lo~~
hmm.. according to Melia, they all attend because of me and Lee Fan wo~~
so, really a big thank you to you all lo..
thanks Melia for purposely go back home and change a wonderful nice dress and rush to Jumbo..
thanks Grace for keeping her promise and ponteng her meeting..
thanks MeiWen for attending although almost no money ad..
thanks Michelle and Esther for waiting 2 hours in UkM without any complaints..
thanks QinYi for fetching people around from ukm to Jumbo~~
thanks Wanlin for purposely go and borrow dress from QinYi just to match the dress code of the nite..
thanks LeeYin and LeeFan for going there so early and help controlling the situations
thanks Patrick for the spirits because last minute also wanna go..

then thanks all the juniors that really put effort on this fac nite, it's really nice performances, i enjoyed it very much~~~
never forget to thanks our seniors that willing to attend although starting become busy..
lastly, thanks to all previous candidates!!
through out the almost 3 months of preparation, at last~~
this is the outcome of our work!!!
i know all of us really work for this~~
and YEAH!!!!
it ends up with a wonderful ending~~

wohoo~~~~

第一次捐血

捐血这个念头很早就出现在我脑海了..

只是没有将它诸之于行动罢了~~

可能因为朋友的一句话,让我很有勇气的实行了一直以来的念头~~

朋友说,依我的生命数字来看,很可能会有血光之灾..

化解的方式有:捐血

或许你会觉得我很迷信,但我相信这只是一个比较好的理由来说服自己去捐血吧!!

以往我都不敢捐是因为怕

怕痛,怕自己会晕..

然后,自己就会找借口不让自己捐血~~

血糖低和血压低曾经是理由,可是那也只不过是几个月的时间罢了~~

可它却很光明正大成为了我拒绝捐血的一大理由!!

可我很开心,自己终于突破了``

捐血有点让自己了解自己的定位到底去到那里..

自己可以为这个社会做些什么?

自己又可以忍受多少呢?

忍受针扎的痛?

忍受自己的血液一点一滴从身上流走??

这一趟的捐血让我自己更加地了解自己~~

原来自己可以忍受这么多以前我认为不可思议的东西!

捐血的后果可能是伤口有点痛,左手没有力气扛东西..

但这却是我做过最有意义的事~~

所以我很开心!!=)

1st blood donation~~

hmm.. it's really a good experience to have the first time blood donation at my own faculty la..
i been ready for this since last week when i knew there would be a blood donation event in FSSK...

actually, is sharon's word that trigger me to really put this in action lo..
she say, i might have "xue guang zhi zai/血光之灾", so better go donate blood..
haha, if think properly, i'm kind of 迷信/superstition la..

but i have this thought since i'm in matriculation..
just that time my BP is too low, and i don have courage enough to put this thought into action..
maybe sharon's word that affect me or i think it's just the time for me to finally do that..

hmm.. talking back the experience,
it's a bit scary at the beginning because i dunno what going to happen next..
so i'm quite nervous lo..
and one thing to mention, meiwen and i actually plan to donate together de..
just that she just have a injection last week and she dunno what kind of injection of it, so the doc dare not to let her donate lo~~
that's why i donated the blood alone..

when the checking and registration process were done, i was ready to donate blood..
what shall i say le??
nervous?? afraid?? excited??
all also a bit lo...

it;s kind of strange that it took me quite some time to really fulfill 350cc, i think is cc la..
maybe because of my hand position or maybe 1st time..
my blood flow in a quite slow mode..
while waiting for it to be fulled, i actually enjoying the process la..

i was thinking, "hmm.. this is the feeling of losing blood!"
and when i saw my own pack of blood, i was like a bit touch lo..
i can feel that the blood is still warm and such a big pack when the nurse actually placed it on my legs..

i dunno how to describe this feeling but it's really great la~~
after that, i felt pain on my wound..
hmm.. maybe i moved my hand a bit during the blood flowing..
that;s why my wound got ohche already..
and i feel that my left hand like tertegang already..

anyway, this is really a good experience for me lo~~
i think i'll continue donate blood for the 2nd, 3rd and much much more times de~~
hehe^^

重新出发的前夕..

是时候重新出发了

可是我准备好了吗??

大学开始了快一个月了,怎么感觉上并不是在上课呢?

每次都会重复同样的东西,我自己也厌倦了

每次放假之后就会困在这样的一个困境

问问自己,到底要些什么?

大学生涯已经步入了第二年

是否要像去年一样?

还是来些突破呢?

在正式准备好重新出发前,真的需要好好的调息一下自己的情绪和思维

好让自己过后的路,走的一帆风顺、也毫不后悔~~

cELebRaTinG GeOk KiEw 20tH bIrtHdAY!!!

I'm out around 9 in the morning just hope to be on time for our gathering..
who knows, when i reach Mid Valley, both Geok Kiew and Juo Min say they will be late..
that time is around 10.15am and we suppose to meet at 10.30am de~~

never mind lo, i shopped alone 1st at jusco..
looking here and there but din able to buy many things la~~
finally, around 11am, our main character is here le!!
after paying money for my stuff in Jusco, i went to her lo~~

soon, Juo Min also reached le.. then we started our "session" lo~~
while waiting for juo min that time, we actually discuss about where to have lunch..
Mid Vally has quite number of restaurants but I usually try some only la..
then Geok Kiew suggested me a quite new place to me, which is "San Fransico SteakHouse"

since havent try before, then we decided to give it a try!!
it open at 12pm and they provided us a very "baloi" set lunch la~~
it's RM16.90++, included free flow of soft drink, soup of the day, bread, and of course main course lo~~
I tried the grilled lamb shoulder and it tasted quite good la~~

we chit chat for almost one hour during the whole session in there,
and manage to take some nice photos..
the food making me feel very fulled ar~~ ^_^

after lunch, we went MPH and also Toy R us seeking Juo Min assignment tools wo~~
while she very seriously looking for her stuff, me and Gk are playing around with the kids stuff..
really wanna mention in here la, nowadays the children are very lucky lo~~
all their reading materials and toys are so "IN" and "HighTech" lo~~

then we went for GK watch in Vincci accessory..
before that we actually entered Jusco for ladies department and tried some of the formal shirts le..
Padini 70% off, only RM27.. but somehow no my size lo~~ :(
but, if got me also won't buy la~~ XD

afterward, we went for bIg apple dougnuts.. and finally i manage to get my dancing queen and also the durian!!! they taste so nice la!! hehe^^

actually it's not all about the these niah, there are some more that i din able to write it down la..
but this time outing seems to be an interesting and enjoyfull lo~~
i have fun all the way although a bit tired now~~:P

and I hope Gk also enjoyed it !!
"dear Geok Kiew,
happy 20th birtday ya!!! wish you to have a memorable birthday this year lo~~"

JunIors~~

hmm.. it's been a hot topic for our psykid blog, that's why i want to post one here as well.. haha

what i really feel about the juniors?
kind of complicated la..
i cant say all are rude and not respecting me and also other seniors~~
just that some are really not putting us inside "eye field" lo~~

there are still some juniors that are nice and polite, i never deny it de..
they will like say hi to you when they meet you or simply a smile or a nod..
actually that's enough to satisfy me as a senior!!

not to say about others la, me myself as one of the person incharge of the fac orientation, i really hope to see that they are respecting us..
or else what's the point of arranging everything for them, and even the signature part, we simplified it and saying no humilation and ect just to protect them..

when flash back what they did to us, it's like what we have done is just nothing but wasting time..

this batch de juniors really that bad ma??
hey man, i'm also 1989 de le.. don make me feel shame of it la!!
people born in 1989 are not rude ok??
at least me myself are polite!! XD

juniors back in college also very rude and not respecting...
when they saw you, they just look at you like you're a nerd or what so ever..
again, no hi, no nodding, no smilling, and don't expect for conversations~~

hmm.. should i really need to think again that am i doing the right thing?
or it is worthwhile for me to spend so many time in preparing the orientation le??

but somehow, it's coming to the end of it le~~
worth or not worth already become the past liao!!
no point keep wandering on the same point..

hey juniors, let me see who you really are la!!
don't make me feel that disappointed again~~
and don't let people think that people born in 1989 are that rude la~~

gOOd NeWS!!!

just came back from the kok night class..
and so happy to know that my kok change to every tuesday night 8-10pm le~~
wohoo!!!
that means I can go back or go to my sis place every weekend le~~
no saturday class anymore!!!
luckily I manage to change my set to set 12~~
the lecturer is damn nice and funny!!
haha!!
so happy~~ =P

郊游踏青~~

有一段时间没有在这写BLOG了,因为很懒,也没有什么话题啦!!


今天终于,有了新话题,所以要好好地和大家分享分享咯~~


就在上个星期天,也就是两天前,


我们到沙亚南郊游去了~~~


是否觉得很奇怪,


为何要到这么远呢??


老实说


我也不懂为什么!!


hehe


我们大概八点钟到KTM站吧!


无奈的是,等了快半个小时,KTM才姗姗来迟,


将近9.30AM, 我们终于到了KL SENTRAL..


在那,看到了等了许久的PANG..


很阳光的阿PANG~~


好了,废话不多,快快进入重点吧~~


从KL SENTRAL 到BUKIT CAHAYA,


也就是我们的目的地


大概要一个小时吧!!


在漫长的等待中,


我们拍了不少的照片~~


而在KTM里头,我们依然面色不改,成为了最吵的!!


真有点惭愧***


汗颜啊~~


到了目的地后,我们搭上了那里的巴士,


打算绕场一周~~


谁知道,巴士居然没有位了


只好摸摸鼻子,暗叫倒霉的站上去咯


巴士司机很不怜惜的将我们一群人震颠的有点晕眩~~


天啊!还真想吐呢~~


到了终点时,我们决定去踩脚踏车~~


原以为一切可以顺顺利利的,


谁知道脚踏车早就没了


还要排队等


而且是要等大约20个号码~~


在等待的当儿,我们很搞笑的居然追起了巴士~~


那无情的巴士司机,很冷酷的喷了我们一脸的黑烟就扬长而去


无奈无奈


经过了一番的等候,


我们终于拿到了脚踏车


骑上脚踏车的感觉真是爽啊~~


可是,本小姐在骑上不到15分钟的时间


就很不幸的宣告死亡了~~


体力不佳的我,


在面对那遥远的队友们时,


只好无奈的推着我的铁马,


一步一步地朝队友们前进咯~~


说真的,这真是我第一次骑脚踏车去郊游踏青~~


很累,不过也很爽咯!!


我们一路上看到很漂亮的景色就会忍不住停下来拍照~~


也很成功的拍到了许多的“艺术照”


骑了将近4个小时的脚踏车,


在屁股真的很痛的时候,


我们离开了那里~~


朝向下个目的地出发!!!


下个目标就巴生的肉骨茶咯~~


同样的事情一再的重复


等待拍照,等待拍照


到了那里,


大家都饿得发慌了吧!


当食物一上桌时,


大家都不顾仪态的把桌上的食物杀得个清光~~


折腾了一整天,大家都累和饿了吧!!


再回到UKM的间断,


还有许许多多的插曲


没能一一列出


因为实在太多了吧!!


不过,这次的郊游踏青真的很好玩!!


很爽啊!!

siCk...

it's really unfortune to say but i fall sick already..
i think since monday night i already not feeling well but i thought that was just because of too tired..
then it continued until thursday noon..
while i was in the class, i felt so uncomfortable and my headache was terribly serious..
then i decided to go pusat kesihatan that afternoon as well..
when i entered there, i was lots of people queueing up and i waited for almost half and hour..
finally, it was my turn and the doc seems like wanted to finish as fast as possible then she din't check my body temperature..
it was kind of strange because now everyone is concern about H1N1 ma..

after that i went back and start doing my stuff at library,
i was so lazy to go out so i cook porridge,
maybe because of the porridge or lack of rest,
the next morning i feel so sick..
i think i got fever already..

but since i got the fac orientation program that noon,
i din't go for pusat kesihatan..
yet, i felt so uncomfortable and ill..
my senior joshua kindly offer me to fetch me to clinic if let say i don want to go pusat kesihatan..
after consider here and there,
i decided to go pusat kesihatan again, although later i have class..

along the way, grace accompany me to pusat kesihatan..
thanks to her so much.. ^^

after going to the class and told the lecturer that i'm not feeling well,
i went back my room and start sleeping for almost 3 hours..

3 hours sleep really make me feel better and today even better..
i really think i need more rest to recover lo..

jiayou~~

my short semester break~~

it's been quite some time din't update the blog already..
because my house don have fast internet connection, but still using the dail-up..

what i do during my 10 days holiday ar??
erm.. i think i acted as a 宅女lo..
morning i wake up, then i cook something to eat,
accompany mum to buy somethings,
watch drama, read novels and bla bla bla..

for the whole holidays, i only go out with friend once, that is with suba..
we went taiping sentral for Transformer 2..
it's really a good movie to watch!!
really enjoy watching it la~~

talking about my holidays, i feel so proud that i didn't really waste my time..
at least, i did what i want to do!!
that is---- cook!!

it is a great sucess that i'm able to cook a quite nice korean food and oso japanese food~~

i'm gonna missed all of it~~


that's the korean food that i cook~~

妹妹




放假回来,我的第一件任务就是帮妹妹到学校去拿成绩单!!


有点可笑,刚满20岁一个月多的我居然当起了家长咯


还好,妹妹的级任曾经是我的老师


所以她也并没有多说些什么,只是让我明确的知道妹妹的弱点和可以补救的方法..


因为这样,所以我今天的主题是妹妹!!^^



其实,坦白的说,我并没有很完美地达到一个身位姐姐的责任


我还记得在我还未离开家里的时候,也就是还没有履行国民服务时,


我和我的家人的关系并没有酱好,


虽然在我的心中,他们永远是最重要的;


偏偏,我就生了张不服输的嘴


是很典型的刀子嘴豆腐心


所以只要我看到妹妹犯了错,就会狠狠的骂她一顿


也从来不顾虑什么的


可是,当我一离开家里,很多所谓的坚持已经不重要了


我开始变得珍惜我们相处的每一分钟


暴躁的脾气也慢慢地磨掉了


每每看到妹妹那张可爱的脸,就很想疼惜她


我想,家里面每个人都是酱想的吧!!


在我们的心目中,妹妹就像永远长不大的孩子


大家都想把最好的买给她


“我爱你妹妹”


这句话我想,应该是说不出口吧!


或许以前的我错过了很多


但,现在我很努力的在弥补


弥补一个身位姐姐应该负起的责任


我不知道我还有多少的时间可以宠你


因为大家可以相聚的时间越来越少了



妹妹,你很乖、很听话也很懂事


在我和姐姐离开家里,到外求学时


一个人很努力的扮演着女儿的角色


一个人扛起了属于我和姐姐的家务


一个人很懂事的不让父母多加操心


在短短的一两年内,成长了许多


其实我每每都很羡慕你的乐天


如果我对自己的要求不是这么高,


只要一点点的快乐,就可以满足我


那我每天是否可以活得像你一样呢?


可是,这是你,而我是我


也许这就是你的特点了!!


我曾经告诉你说


“人要对自己有信心!!有付出就一定有回报的,所以要相信你自己”


不要活在我的影子下


我知道我在校的表现可能让你压力很大


可是你是你,你有你自己的特色


我不希望看到你因为我的成绩而倍感压力!


要走出属于自己的一条路


一条属于你张恩惠的路!!


妹,加油咯!!希望你会看到这篇部落格吧~~




en hwei en hwei

Good bye my junior year...

one more day and I'm no longer junior anymore..
so sad to say that..

throughout this year, I learn a lot of things and have a lot of fun..
no matter how, it will always hatch in my memory..

i still remember the first day entering UKM, i don even know where is Kolej Aminnudin Baki..
and terpaksa ask someone at the roadside near kolej Dato Onn..
it was so funny that time..

then, finally we manage to find my kolej..
then, it's the pendaftaran time..
I remember that abang Lai who register for me.. because he is the only Chinese there.. haha
then, i get my room key and headed to my room..

when i entered the room, siew chee and her parents already there..
they already clean up part of the room and she is waiting her turn to bath..
then without wasting time, i start to unpack my stuff..

then i sent my parents to my uncle car and say good bye to them..
proud to say that, this time i din cry.. ^^

then when I was back in room,
I started my first conversation with siew chee..
I dun remember what we say but it's like usual ice breaking la..
and i feel so glad that she is also taking psychology..
bla, bla, bla..

it was so long story to tell..
then we headed to dataran k4 and started our orientation week..
for the whole orientation week, i was so tired that i almost don't know what I'm doing..

somehow I joined the artisukma choir and accidentally become one of the conductor for the performance..
oh my goodness lo, i conducted the choir team in front of thousand plus people during the sumpahan pelajar..

because of choir, i met some new friends and they are mei wen, lay mei, june, su hui, jing wen..
we were so close during the mmp week.. hehe^^

then it was the end of mmp week la..
then we started our fac orientation lo..
I was so unlucky being picked as the gantian of FSSK candidate...
em, should i say unlucky??
whatever la~~

then i was being assign to partner with davin, the other candidate..
throughout the whole things, i feel like being slightly humilated..
this is because i know how i look wo, it is imposible for me to be voted as the candidate de la~~
haiz, but somehow, i promised Joshua already, so cannot just go away..
somehow, i took that as a good learning experience la..

em.. what else le??
oh ya, ming hua!!
i was so luckly to be elected as one of the board of ming hua, which is the Chinese society of Amin..
and never forget about amin Choir team, I was the vice president of it..
glad to have both of it..

that started my quite busy kolej life lo~~

it was so much more to say about my junior year, that is just interesting part of my first semester..

now is the turn of second semester,
actually second semester i din do much things la..
but in this semester, i getting more and more close with ah lee, mei wen, mui yee, ice, grace..
really glad to have them as my friends.. ^^

never forget about PR stimulasi..
i was elected as the pengarah for protokol..
gosh, you know how much i hate about protokol??
i hate it that much ar~~

but somehow, through it, i really learn a lot..
learn about protokol~~
PR is all about protokol only, not more than that!!

i think that's all about 2nd semester lo~~

this is the most fun part, 3rd semester!!
i never regret of taking it
and i found lots of fun!!!

because of 3rd sem, i become more and more close with mei wen, grace, mui yee and wai thing..
we go a lot of places, such as sunway piramid, cheras pasar malam, maybank kajang..
really have fun during all the outing.. ^^

then it would be the preparation of Natcon 2009 le!!
like what i wrote in the blog,
it was tiring but i had a lot of fun and enjoy the process of it..
and also learn a lot of things lo..

and now, it is almost the end for my junior year..
i'm so so so unwilling to say that i'm already senior!!*sob*

but somehow, this is the true ar!!
cannot deny it~~

so, what i can say is that hopefully my 2nd year in UKM would be as fine as my junior year lo~~

^^

小说~~

我发现自己真的很爱看小说,

即使是明天要考试,我也忍不住猛追小说!!

看小说可以让我放松心情,

让我暂时忘记考试的压力,

忘情的投入在小说情节里!!

现在正在努力的追着恶女街系列,

让我看的忘我~~

书里面,恶女二号,阿宅简圣德说,会爱上小说是因为对爱情的艨艟~~

那我呢?我又是为了什么而爱上小说的呢??

What shall I write in a blog??

after sometime,
i notice that my blog is quite long compare to other people..
my friend told me when she first read me blog,
she said, "one of your blog post equal to my whole blog post"
hehe^^

at that moment, i din't think much of it..
but really after sometimes,
especially when i saw other people blog,
i found that she is right wo~~

usually people's blog won't be that long de wo~~
mine can consider as the article liao lo..
especially the Chinese version !!

haha.. this make me start of thinking whether to change to my style of writing blog dy..
what you guys think le??
should i post the short but precise or just follow my instinct ar??

NATCON 2009

当我答应参与这个活动的时候,我就已经预算好会有几忙的了~~

当日子一天一天的靠近时,我们更加是忙得不可开交~~

但,无可否认的是,这活动让我学会了很多,同时,也献上我无数的第一次...

要从哪里说起呢??

就从刚开始筹备的那边讲起吧!!

我被分派到LOGISTIC的部门,

顾名思义,就是要当跑腿~~

可以说是从几个星期前,我就不断地东跑西走的...

是很累,不过幸好一切都很顺利。

我遇到的人都很好,不但帮我顺利通过申请,还给予我些可贵的教导~~

到了要开始的前两三天,

我们更加卖力的为那活动做准备功夫..

那其中的一天竟然忙到凌晨三点钟~~

我的天,我从来没有开会到酱夜的...

回到房间,梳洗一番就接近四点了~~

真的很累!!

到了活动的开始,我们一样是那么累,

但整个过程中我都不曾后悔过,

我很享受这种很充实的感觉~~

讲回那些第一次吧!!

在这活动中,我第一次爬窗进去FST,

也第一次呆在FST酱久!!

第一次在DAM里睡觉,

第一次在DAM和DG唱K...

那里的音效还真的不错~~呵呵

第一次当秘书,而且还是很失败的秘书~~

人家当秘书是要写报告的,我什么都不用做,

会议主席帮我做完,我只需要记录些许的会议重点...

想回起来还真是有点点的过意不去了!!

到了现在,距离活动结束已经有几天了,

我还是很怀念,

但愿自己还有机会很我的团友们一起努力的搞活动吧!!

tired learning experience

finally, it come to the end..
NATCON 2009

honestly, we did not prepare it in a enough time mode but it is like last minute work
due to lack of time, so we need to rush up lots of things,
so, we all don really have time to rest during two whole weeks..

yet, i do learn a lot from it,
i learn how to deal with people...
i learn how to setup the LCD layar, and projector
i learn how to setup the PA system, at learn some of it la..
i learn how to communicate better with people..
i learn how to jot down important points during meeting
and i learn quite a lot of AIESEC square dance..

not only that,
during the national convention,
i did contribute lots of my first time...
first time explore in FST,
first time sing K in DAM and DG,
first time sleep in DAM,
first time dance in front of so many people,
first time climb into a building through windows,
first time go JPP and Pusat Penerbitan, etc...

this event really give me a great experience and also impact in my life..
although it is really tiring but i never blame for not enough sleep..
yet, I'm glad of becoming one of the OC of NATCON 2009..

结束时的感想~~

当一段友情走不下去时,我们该怎么办才是最好的方法??
曾经,我是那个逃避的人……
所以我明白那感受和想法……

当我现在站在这里,
看着朋友以逃避着的方式面对着我时,
就像看到以前的自己……

我应该体谅的,
在我如此明白的时候,
可是,或许太了解了,
让我对彼此失去了信心~~

结束,或许是件好事..
我不想再逼任何人,
既然你已经做出了决定~~

但,始终我还是不知道事情的真相,
算了吧!就让我死得不明不白吧!
因为我累了,我不想再迁就下去,不想再妥协了~

就算是真的没了她当我的朋友,
我也觉得算了,
我没有力去理会了……

无论如何,是结束了..
但,曾经,我们是朋友~~

Home..

I'm at home..
Love to be at home..
and yet I'm not always at home..

When I decided to take matriculation,
it started my own journey..
which away from home..'

I'm not the lucky person,
because the college or university that i get is far from my home..

Unlike those that staying near,
they can always going back home..

Me??
I can only go back home once a month
and only for about 2-3 days..

pity??
NO..
my sarawak friends even pity..
they cant even go back once a month..
but really once a while..

From this,
I realised that I'm not the worst..
so, I start not to blame..
but take this opportunity to learn more things..

Now, I'm at home..
home sweet home..
enjoying the peace and wondering environment at Taiping..

although soon, I'll be back to UKM
and supposedly not going back home until exam finish..
em.. this is really a good time for me to enjoy..
at least once last time before exam ma..

Taiping, I love to stay here..
things here are cheap,
foods are nice and cheap..
people here are nice and warm..
and of course,
my lovely Family members lo~~
muaks~~ :)

Decided...

Once decided, I won't look back
won't regret for my decision
won't feel sorry for anyone else

If really it appears that I make the wrong decision,
I won't blame myself for that but I'll take up the consequences..

So..
Friend, don't blame me for my decision..
It took me time to decide
and it seems like this is the best solution among all..
that suit both U and me..

朋友的定义~~

由始到今,我还在摸索着朋友的定义~~

我自认朋友不会少,可是真正走入我的世界的并不多~~

从小,我就羡慕姐姐可以有一个相识多年又了解她的好朋友~~

所以,我也很用心的去寻找属于我的好朋友~~

但,每每在我以为我找到的时候,就会发生些让我跌破眼镜的事~~

因为时间和距离上的关系,我很多段友情就这样没有了~~

现在,就算没有了距离和时间上的问题,

我和朋友之间还是有问题~~

我们的友情演变到真的比陌生人还要陌生~~~

算了吧!

我也不会再去勉强自己去继续这段友情了~~

一切都随缘了~~

当我狠下心要挽回的时候,

她的一举一动只会让我心灰意冷~~

好吧!既然你选择了以逃避的方式,

那我就成全你吧!

我想我以后都不会再理会她了吧!

这是我的方式~~

当朋友之间初现了问题的时候,

我曾经是过去解决,但她却……

既然她选择了一次又一次的逃避和糟蹋我的心思,

那代表着,她并不是我的朋友!!

因为,在我的定义里,朋友是不会一次又一次的伤害和糟蹋你的心思的~~

我已经给了她机会,让她选择,但她却以逃避来回应我~~

朋友,我没有多少时间陪你玩这种你逃我追的游戏~~

所以,再见啦!!

这是你希望的吧?

在你一次又一次的举动背后,是否隐藏着这个决定呢?

Seeking for true friendship~~

When I was in matriculation, I already wondering about this..
Now when I'm in Uni, still, I am thinking about this also..
I dare not say that I have plenty of bad experiences about friendship..
But from what I been through,
It makes me lost confidence on it..
I have plenty of friends, but those that able to enter my heart,
very few...
Not saying that I closed up myself but for me, friends are those who can understand you without saying another words..
I am now still seeking for true friendship..
althought I already lost the confidence and people around me are telling me the same thing..
I was wondering whether the friendship can last for how long??
How long can it stand??
Without quarrels?? With all the time and distand limit??
I was once being told by one of my friend's actions,
Friendship can end without a sign..
It can start without a sign and also end without a sign..
When it come to the end, both of us are like stranger to each other..
Not informing each other about the latest news of them,
Not wishing during new year or even birthday..
Or I shall say, it appears like we never know each other..
This is the sad part of the story..
and yet, I'll never give up on seeking true friendship..
No matter how long it can stand, I'll still put hope on it..
because no matter what,I did try my best on putting effort in it..

20岁的生日~~

20岁的生日了……

代表着我将永远告别十几岁的日子了……

20岁的生日过得有点混……

从星期四就开始庆祝了……

一直到星期六!!!

em……这次的生日我总共吃了5次的蛋糕,

其中有四次是不同时间吃的~~

天啊!难怪我会突然间肥去~~

要感谢陪我过生日的朋友们,

也要感谢没能陪我过但依然送上祝福的朋友……

还有感谢妈妈生我养我,还有爸爸的教诲让我比别人成长得更快~~

当然不会忘记亲爱的姐姐为我炮制的美味晚餐~~

20岁的生日正式的公布了我已经是成人了吗?

不,那还要等多一年,就是21岁时咯~~

不过有点想分享的~~

其实我同时间扮演了两个角色!!

在大学里,我是最小的~~

在我认识的朋友当中,我却是最大的~~

一时之间不能适应!!

我当老大当了十几年,来到这里却变成了小妹??

哈哈,其实这很好啊!!

让我感受一下当最小的滋味吧~~

20 years old le~~

what does it means le??
means i'm getting older le??
haha.. actually it does not mean much to me..
because i din wait for 20 years old only then become mature..
i'm already mature enough (p/s: i mean thinking la)
haha.. maybe some don't agree but still I think I mature enough in some part de~~

what I do on 23rd May 2009??
em... I spent half day in timesquare with my old buddy and another half day at my sister house at sri serdang~~
honestly, I don't really know how I spent the time..
It was like wow then is 24th May already~~

by the way, still wanna say thank you to those who spent time together with me for celebration whether on 21st, 22nd, 23rd or 24th May and also on 6th May(genting trip)..
thanks those who greeting me and wishing me, whether on friendster, facebook, blogspot, or through sms de..
thanks my sister, MeiHorng for preparing such a wonderful dinner for me..
thanks her housemates, Psykids, Grace, MeiYi and Mei for the lovely cakes,
thanks LayMei and MeiWen for the presents and cards...
and thanks lot and lot of people ar~~

and of course never forget to thank my parents for raising me up...

em.. 20 years old le, really need to think of what is the next plan lo~~

落寞心情~~

这几天都很落寞,不懂为了什么………
在房间里,就快要发霉了,也不懂得要做些什么!!
一个人,过着这种孤单寂寞的日子,真是难熬~~

我并不是害怕孤单的人,
感觉上,从小,我就不曾孤单过,一直到Matric的时候~~

当时的我,只身到马六甲去,没有朋友~~
在那儿找到的朋友却又不是自己想要的,
做人原则不一样,让我们的友情就这样结束了~~

我想,我是那时候开始习惯一个人的生活吧!!
一个人回家,一个人吃饭,一个人冲凉,一个人发呆……
这种情况到了大学并没有多大的改变吧!
很多时候,我也是一个人的……

一个人在房间,一个人吃饭,一个人冲凉,一个人出去,一个人回家等等……
感觉上,自己好像很独立……
可是,很多时候,我是逼不得已的让自己学会了独立~~
当中的辛酸没有人会懂,除了自己~~

很多时候,我告诉自己要坚强,不可以哭,不可以懦弱……
因为我只有一个人……
家人们都不在身边了,不想做些让他们担心的事~~
所以一切一切,我都扛下了~~

朋友曾经说过,“像你一样的独立女性是不会明白的”
当时很想告诉她说,如果可以选的话,我也希望我可以不用酱独立~~
能有个可以让我依赖的人来分担~~

家人是我可以依赖的人,可是我不想再为他们添麻烦了……
我已经长大了,有了可以独当一面的能力了!
不想白发渐渐冒出的父母为我操心,不想姐姐在烦恼她的事情时还要分神来照顾我,也不想妹妹在努力读书时为了我而忧心~~
为了这一切一切,我让自己很早就学会了独立~

是独立惯了吗?
现在无论怎样,我很自动的就武装自己,
不让人家看得出自己的懦弱……
不想让人家为我操心~~

今天的我很感性,也不懂得为什么~~
写部落格是我发泄的方法之一吧!!

也可能是因为最近在想着到底要不要留在这里过生日吧!!
回家会很累也很浪费车票钱……
可是,留在这里,就真的是自己孤孤单单的过生日了~~
也不是说完全没有朋友在这里,
只是,大家都有彼此忙碌的生活……

生日真的那么重要吗??
也还好吧!
只是,我需要时间好好调息自己的情绪和思想了~~

落寞的心情~~

这几天都很落寞,不懂为了什么………
在房间里,就快要发霉了,也不懂得要做些什么!!
一个人,过着这种孤单寂寞的日子,真是难熬~~

我并不是害怕孤单的人,
感觉上,从小,我就不曾孤单过,一直到Matric的时候~~

当时的我,只身到马六甲去,没有朋友~~
在那儿找到的朋友却又不是自己想要的,
做人原则不一样,让我们的友情就这样结束了~~

我想,我是那时候开始习惯一个人的生活吧!!
一个人回家,一个人吃饭,一个人冲凉,一个人发呆……
这种情况到了大学并没有多大的改变吧!
很多时候,我也是一个人的……

一个人在房间,一个人吃饭,一个人冲凉,一个人出去,一个人回家等等……
感觉上,自己好像很独立……
可是,很多时候,我是逼不得已的让自己学会了独立~~
当中的辛酸没有人会懂,除了自己~~

很多时候,我告诉自己要坚强,不可以哭,不可以懦弱……
因为我只有一个人……
家人们都不在身边了,不想做些让他们担心的事~~
所以一切一切,我都扛下了~~

朋友曾经说过,“像你一样的独立女性是不会明白的”
当时很想告诉她说,如果可以选的话,我也希望我可以不用酱独立~~
能有个可以让我依赖的人来分担~~

家人是我可以依赖的人,可是我不想再为他们添麻烦了……
我已经长大了,有了可以独当一面的能力了!
不想白发渐渐冒出的父母为我操心,不想姐姐在烦恼她的事情时还要分神来照顾我,也不想妹妹在努力读书时为了我而忧心~~
为了这一切一切,我让自己很早就学会了独立~

是独立惯了吗?
现在无论怎样,我很自动的就武装自己,
不让人家看得出自己的懦弱……
不想让人家为我操心~~

今天的我很感性,也不懂得为什么~~
写部落格是我发泄的方法之一吧!!

也可能是因为最近在想着到底要不要留在这里过生日吧!!
回家会很累也很浪费车票钱……
可是,留在这里,就真的是自己孤孤单单的过生日了~~
也不是说完全没有朋友在这里,
只是,大家都有彼此忙碌的生活……

生日真的那么重要吗??
也还好吧!
只是,我需要时间好好调息自己的情绪和思想了~~

back to school~~

Last weekend, I went back Taiping for few purposes...
The first one is to celebrate my mum birthday which fall on 17th May..
The second one is to go back to SMJK HUA LIAN..

Why going back??
Since the headmaster now don't really like us to go back..

hehe..
Actually, I went back is because of CHOIR~~~

I was once the leader of Choir and now is my sister..
When we talked in the phone, she keep telling me that they havent really ready for the competition which fall on 16th May..

So, as a sister and also as a senior of Choir..
I decided to go back and try to help them..

I took 7am rapid bus from UKM and reach perhentian kajang around 7.30am..
I waited for about half and hour then only I get into the E2 rapid bus..
That is the 1st time I took E2 bus..

since it is an express bus, so it took me about one hour to reach petaling street..
I thought I will miss the 9 o'clock bus,
but luckily, the bus havent depart and I'm able to take that bus..

after about 4 hours, I reach Taiping..
then without wasting another minutes, I rush back to SMJK Hua Lian..

when I enter the hall and listen to all my juniors singing..
I nearly fainted..
It is really a mess..
all the tempo, pitch and expression are totally out..

due to we just have another one more day to go before the competition..
I can't do much changes to them but just trying to polish up the whole song.
In the meantime, I try to apply the motivation that I learn to them..
It seems like really work..

They all change from the learn helplessness to a more motivated state..
Although they didn't manage to become the champion but the 1st runner up..
It still means a lot to me..

within few hours,
and they let me see the huge improvement..
I'm really touch and din regret for my decision..
although it is tired to rush back but it means something to me..

from what I saw,
I saw the shadow of myself..

three years before,
I was one of them..
we all fight for our dreams,
fight for the competitions..
hope to beat up convent who are damn arrogant..
we cry when we won and also cry when we lose..

In the choir team,
we all share both tears and laughters..
I'll never forget about what I been through
and it helps me a lot in facing daily uni life..

To all my juniors,
like what I said, winning and losing is not important,
the main things that you all should look through is the process..
it is the process that make you grow up, not the winning or the lossing...
never give up and fight for the best...

bAcK to ScHool....

Last weekend, I went back Taiping for few purposes...
The first one is to celebrate my mum birthday which fall on 17th May..
The second one is to go back to SMJK HUA LIAN..

Why going back??
Since the headmaster now don't really like us to go back..

hehe..
Actually, I went back is because of CHOIR~~~

I was once the leader of Choir and now is my sister..
When we talked in the phone, she keep telling me that they havent really ready for the competition which fall on 16th May..

So, as a sister and also as a senior of Choir..
I decided to go back and try to help them..

I took 7am rapid bus from UKM and reach perhentian kajang around 7.30am..
I waited for about half and hour then only I get into the E2 rapid bus..
That is the 1st time I took E2 bus..

since it is an express bus, so it took me about one hour to reach petaling street..
I thought I will miss the 9 o'clock bus,
but luckily, the bus havent depart and I'm able to take that bus..

after about 4 hours, I reach Taiping..
then without wasting another minutes, I rush back to SMJK Hua Lian..

when I enter the hall and listen to all my juniors singing..
I nearly fainted..
It is really a mess..
all the tempo, pitch and expression are totally out..

due to we just have another one more day to go before the competition..
I can't do much changes to them but just trying to polish up the whole song.
In the meantime, I try to apply the motivation that I learn to them..
It seems like really work..

They all change from the learn helplessness to a more motivated state..
Although they didn't manage to become the champion but the 1st runner up..
It still means a lot to me..

within few hours,
and they let me see the huge improvement..
I'm really touch and din regret for my decision..
although it is tired to rush back but it means something to me..

from what I saw,
I saw the shadow of myself..

three years before,
I was one of them..
we all fight for our dreams,
fight for the competitions..
hope to beat up convent who are damn arrogant..
we cry when we won and also cry when we lose..

In the choir team,
we all share both tears and laughters..
I'll never forget about what I been through
and it helps me a lot in facing daily uni life..

To all my juniors,
like what I said, winning and losing is not important,
the main things that you all should look through is the process..
it is the process that make you grow up, not the winning or the lossing...
never give up and fight for the best...

黑夜彩虹~~

这是我写过的一首新诗,现在看回觉得感触很大!!

同样的事情一再的发生,可心态是否一样呢??

不意外的,我对这首新诗情有独钟,是我写过酱多新诗中,最爱的一首~~

现在就和大家分享吧!!


路灯,


把我的影子拉长,


刹那间,


世界只剩下我和影子,


周遭的一切


已不再与我有关联。



静静的,


我一步步的踏出去,


踏在我成长的路上,


那途中或许有很多过客


给了我


一次次不同的


快乐、想法、感受、


及伤害



也许过客们无心,


但听者有意!


那无心的伤害


一次次地


刺痛了我的心….



偏偏,路途中需要


过客们的存在,


否则成长也不再有意义。



一个人的路上,


除了自己没有他人


也只能硬着头皮,


扛下那伤害



也许伤害过后,


会有意想不到彩虹


降临那独有


我和影子的世界



望着月亮,


不禁期待着那


黑夜彩虹的降临….


22/9/2007 ”

黑夜彩虹~~

这是我写过的一首新诗,当中包含了我当时的感触……
本人蛮爱这首诗的,因为它很贴切的带出了我的感想~~
纯粹想和大家分享咯!!

路灯,

把我的影子拉长,

刹那间,

世界只剩下我和影子,

周遭的一切

已不再与我有关联。


静静的,

我一步步的踏出去,

踏在我成长的路上,

那途中或许有很多过客

给了我

一次次不同的

快乐、想法、感受、

及伤害


也许过客们无心,

但听者有意!

那无心的伤害

一次次地

刺痛了我的心….


偏偏,路途中需要

过客们的存在,

否则成长也不再有意义。


一个人的路上,

除了自己没有他人

也只能硬着头皮,

扛下那伤害


也许伤害过后,

会有意想不到彩虹

降临那独有

我和影子的世界


望着月亮,

不禁期待着那

黑夜彩虹的降临….


22/9/2007”


黑夜里的彩虹是不可能出现的,就如同奇迹般…………

现在看回自己写过的诗,感触特别大~~

相同的事情又在发生了,可是心态一样吗??


无言…………