过去一年的想法。。。

站在回家的路上，并没有多大的感触。。。可能是一个星期前才回家，所以并没有多大的回家心切的感觉。。。“独在异乡为异客，每逢佳节倍思亲”，这句话的确无法显现出我的心情。

可是，在那回家的路途中，我想了许多，许多这一年所发生的事情。。。原来我离开我那可爱的家也有接近一年的时间了，这一年所发生的事情说多不多，说少不少，恰恰足够让我成长。。。一年前的我还是温室里的小花，无论什么都有家人为我挡着，不但自以为是还很野蛮。当我接到国民服务的通知书时可为晴天霹雳，脑子一片空白，不知道如何去面对这一切。。。

在营里的日子不好过，但我很庆幸我有一班很贴心的战友陪我度过。在那里我学会了珍惜、学会了付出，群体的生活不容易，可是那两个月不到的光阴永永远远会在我心中停驻的！！

营里出来，来到了马六甲，我自认可悲因为从太平过去的也只有我一个女生，很多事都会很不方便，再加上我跟他们还不是一般的不熟，所以很伤心。。到了那里，以为可以找到一群志同道合的朋友，可是我错了！！在营里学到的付出原来在那里是行不通的。。。

我以为只要我付出，就会得到我想要得！偏偏人生就不是这么简单，我一番的热血，完全被践踏了。。然而我不会在怨恨他们，毕竟我们无法要求到每个人都达到自己的要求，那太过分了。。他们还是我的朋友，只不过不是我心灵上所追寻的而已。。。

我一直以为自己是个爱讲话的人，认为说话不需要看对象、时间和地点，但我又错了！！我发现在那里我还是比较适合当个沉默的人吧！！心已经慢慢的封闭了，没有人能将它再次的打开，除了我自己！！

哀大莫于心死

加油吧！在这新的一年里，努力地为自己的梦想奋斗、坚强地抗卫自己的理想。人生的道路上一定要坚强，虽然只有一个人。。。

bcum emotional

you3 shi2 hou4 qing2 xu4 hua4 de4 wo3 zhen1 ling4 ren2 tao3 yan4 e!! lian2 wo3 zi4 ji3 dou1 yan4 juan4 zi4 ji3 .. mei3 ge4 ren2 dou1 you3 qing2 xu4 hua4 de4 shi2 hou4, mei2 you3 ren2 ke1 yi3 mo3 mie4 zhe4 yi4 dian3 de4,suo3 yi3 bing4 bu4 xu1 yao4 fu4 shang4 ren4 de4 zhe2 ren4 a1!! sui1 ran2 ting1 qi3 lai2 you3 dian3 ren4 xing4, ke3 shi4 zhe4 que4 shi4 shi4 shi2 a1!! bie2 ren3 ke2 yi3 hen3 bu4 fu4 zhe2 ren4 de4 , na4 wei4 he2 wo3 bu4 xing2 ne1?? you3 shi2 hou4 wo3 zhen1 de4 hen3 xiang3 pao1 kai1 yi2 qie4, dang1 ge4 bu4 fu4 zhe2 ren4 de4 ren2 a1!! zhi4 shao3 wo3 hui4 yong1 you3 pian4 ke4 de4 kuai4 le1, bu4 bi4 fu4 shang4 ren4 he2 zhe2 ren4 de4 pian4 ke4 ...

家。。。

家。。。对我很重要的家，没有了你，我并不存在！！

我记得有朋友问过我，对婚姻的看法，而我的看法是我不会踏入婚姻除非我真的有够格。。婚姻对我而言是神圣的，如果自己没有把我去经营一段婚姻，那为何要结婚呢？当时我的朋友很不了解我的看法，认为我太过认真了。。 哈！！也对啦！对于年龄不到二字头的我是没有什么资格发表这样的意见。。。

为何我会有如此的想法呢？我不懂，我知道家对我很重要，如果没有了我的家人，我无法相信我那接近一年在外的求学生活可以像现在一样。。我很早就了解到从我踏离家门的那一刻，我就开始了一个人的人生旅途。。没有别人，只有自己。。。可是家人就像是我的精神支柱，支柱着从未到为生活的我，那像温室里的小花的我！！在那个过程中我跌跌撞撞，可是家人们从未厌倦的一次又一次的鼓励我。。在那之前家人对我就很重要，经过那以后，他们在我心中的地位更稳固了！！没有人能动摇他们在我心中的地位的！！

在外可以靠朋友是没错，可是难道有问题是真的可以毫无保留的将心中的负担全盘托出吗？不！！朋友也有自己的负担，那对朋友太不公平了吧！可是家人却是你永远的“垃圾桶”，对你永远不离不弃的！！

所以，我爱你们！！我最最亲爱的家人们。。没有你们，我不会成长的那么快，也不会了解到很多东西。。。真得很谢谢你们！！

r3b0Rn...

aft all tat things ... i decide to hav a new life in tis brand new 2008!! no matter wat happen in the future, i'll kno how to handle it ad and ther's nothing tat can bother me anymore liao!!

new 2008 and new me!!

hw to face those problem, i dunno bt wat i kno is i'm no longer the same me liao... i hope i'll bcum more mature and handle things wit more caution...

i dun wan to talk about frenz anymore liao, juz let it be!! natural is the best !! i dun wan them to think of any of my problem and i oso dun wan me to think of their problem...

it's juz left bout 3 months and i'll b finishin my matric life, so let me enjoy the last few months here and do let me to hav a sweet memory here... tis is my onli matric time in my life and i dun wan to let anything tat can uglyfied my memory here...

so... god, pls complete my first wish of this year !!

fInaLLy

finally... is spoke out wat i wanna tell them d ... no matter wat happen next, i wont regret for what i had done cos tat's wat i wn to do sinc ei recover the problem...

wat i wanna say is tat the fault is not on u al , jus tat v hav different principle of life...so let the god to decide whether can continue our friendship onot !! mayb i need time to think bout it ..

anyway ... forgive me for everything that might hurt u al ... i'm reali sory

aGain

why? can u al tell why this happen to me again ?? is ti my own problem ? why this keep happening on me !!! suddenly i feel tat i'm al alone in here , no frens !!

maybe part of tis is my problem bt i ad give u al the 2nd chance and allow myself to reknow u al .. yet , it happen again and tis time i'm terriblely mad on tat !! u think i'm stupid and like an idiot tat can be play like tat de ma?? no u al are wrong !!!

so pls don regret for wat u had did and tat would b a vry "gd" memory for me in here !!!

Tiredness!!!!!!!

i'm damn tired toward the lifestyle tat i'm having nw!! i was wondering whether i am matured enough to handle things !! seems like my brain is not functioning well at this moment !! am i so stupid enough to choose the wrong pathway of mine wo???

actually wat's bodering me?? i dunno whether to write it out onot cos v'll stil b in here 2gether for less than half year de !! if i chose 2 do tat than i might b 2 cruel, if i'm not doing so, me myself 'll b suffering fr tat !! wat am i suppose 2 do ?who can tell me le?

it's a truth tat i cant choose my fren, they come 2 u actually! any of my fren nw, i din chose them , my destiny had chosen them 2 bcom my fren ... so, i cant blame who for wat had happen yet wat can i do is tat i can onli try to do my best toward wat i faced!!

sometimes i was wondering tat would tat b a stupid thing tat nw in the age of mine, stil having problems wit frens!! so silly !! still need some advice fr other ppl, then it would b a shame 2 me !! at lease me myself think like tat de!!!

i wanna tell the world wat i think and wat i feel bt there seems to b a huge invisible wall blocking me fr the outer world!!

here is a word tat i agree at this moment which is tat i totally agree with a fren of mine : v, al together here is fr all different world !!!

NeW!!!

nw, in here, facing the brand new semester 2, i wanna ask myself tat am i going to repeat wat i had done in the sem 1 or not... Or else wat should i do in tis semester?? i dunno !! mayb keep studying cos al my senior say tat sem 2 is harder than sem 1 much more... does tat mean tat i'll hav no more space for myself?? hopefully not !!

talking bout frens, aft the incident, i found out tat it's almost impossible to find the friendship tat i own tis b4... i cant find it right nw! mayb some of them might dissapointed wif me bt tat's hw i face it!! i wanna tel them tat if u dunno anything bout me then pls stop al ur though bout me !! me is me, not other... getting 2gether here is our fate and the matter is hw we face it!! mayb u al think tat i had change bt b4 tat pls think wat u al hav done...tat's wat i wanna say! b4 tis i was wondering tat m i suppose 2 tell u al, bt right nw i had decided 2 write it down in my blog, if u al had red it, then mayb u'll understand.. if u al don hav d opportunity 2 read it, then tat's mean tis would b the secret btwen us la ...

new symbolic wat? new semester? new frens? o new life style? let the God to decide it 4 me.. later v'll see de la !!