Love=investment??

It's been a long time din update this blog le...
Was kind of busy past few weeks and this going to continue until the end of the final exam ba!!
By the way, yesterday during the AIESEC AG6,
while having the mega world cafe session, there was a guy who bring up this topic!!
"love is like an investment"

hmm... cannot deny what he said but I still don't think so lo..
He said that when people fallen in love, the mostly the guys will have to kind of invest
and the investment of course is about all the treating food, buying presents, time sacrificing and so on..

For me, love is basically build upon trust..
when talking all about "investment", it's kind of materialised the meaning of love already..
if you think lost at the first point you "invest", then what is the purpose of falling in love wor~~

Yala, cannot deny that romance love will fade when the component that of love fade..
It is an investment..
but not as that bad as the guy think lo..

选择性的回忆

如果我说，人生中有许多的回忆

而有些回忆是可以选择性的保留或删除

不知你们同意吗？

*

我曾经有过一段回忆

是连我自己都不知道要如何归位的回忆

曾经，我以为那是我不愿再提起的回忆

我以为它会从我生命中消失

只要我不再去触碰它

可惜，这只是我很鸵鸟的逃避心态

*

一旦成为了回忆，永远就是回忆

怎样都删除不了的

过去了的回忆

怎么改也改不了

错过的，也只能让它随烟而去

消失在空中

*

很想告诉自己

别再去想了

过去的是改变不了了

缅甸过去不是我一贯的作风

无可否认的，

在那过去中，我曾经很开心过

但始终，我最介意的不是那些

*

一个没有解决过的问题，

就像是被埋藏起来的地雷

不去触碰就被遗忘了

可是，当一不小心碰到时

所带来的爆发力

却是无穷地大...

*

今天的我，

不是想埋怨什么

而是想很平静地将我的想法透露

不想再引起任何的误会

不想再一味地沉迷在过去的伤痛中

也不想将这段回忆归类成“等待删除类“

如果可以的话，

我想知道真相

那也只是如果

因为我知道，你们伤得和我一样重

五味参杂...

今天，我的心情像一锅五味参杂的杂锦汤

痛，每月的报到让我身理心里都很不舒服

忧，为还没有做好准备的Quiz担心

乐，自己可以很有规律的完成所定下的目标

烦，今晚的meeting的出席率

恨，不负责任的“人”

其实还有的，

一切一切都应该从那刻开始，

发现“她”在Facebook Add 了我，

approve 了之后，发现她有个Blog

好奇之下，就把她的部落看完了

就在当下，勾起了太多太多回忆

算是美好回忆还是不堪回首的回忆呢？

我也不懂

但我知道，如果同样的事情一再的发生，

我应该还是会做一样的决定的

想了很久，决定在其中一个有关的部落上留言

我也不懂道理这样子做到底是对还是错

或许是因为身理上的不舒服吧！

看着看着，我的心情也跟着沉重起来

因为那一切都勾起了我在Matric不愉快的回忆

Matric时期，我很痛苦

我找不到了解我的人

感觉上每天都是一个人

曾经，她们是我依靠的对象

但日子久了，发现自己融不入

痛苦也随即而来

虽然这些都已经过了接近两年了

可是我忘不了

同样的，我发现我的缘故，使得大家都不好受

我很想知道，难道我是个这么令人讨厌的人吗？

我真的不懂得如何跟人家相处吗？

不然，为何我无法在那一年内寻得知心朋友呢？

朋友啊！

如果你看到这篇部落时，

请不要吝啬的写下你的意见..

虽然我不在意别人的看法，

但这是我个人人格问题吧！

终究应该知道的~~

因为这些回忆，让我苦哈哈得过了一个下午

相信没得到一个答案我是不会甘心的吧！

Dramatic...

yesterday something occurs..
out of a sudden..
although I'm not the one facing it..
still, i can sense that my heart broken..
why shall all this happen ?
just because of anger?
it is really dramatic,
it was still like yesterday that all of us are still close enough..
and now,
everythings changed...

just now,
i was told that everything will be fine..
that is their fate for it,
too much of changes that we try to bring to them..
and the God don't let all this things happen..
so, in another way, they reacted in this ways

hopefully that everything will really be fine..
although we cannot help in changing their fate,
but, i hope and pray that they shall survive in a better way..
dear God, I hope and pray for my aunt and her family to have a comfort life..
hope that things won't be too harsh for them..
hope that our relationship won't change in the way that she wished..
hope that their fate won't be the one that i wish not to see

sadly, i pray all this to my own God..
仙师，愿姑妈一家的命运不会是我不想看到的那种
虽然这是无法更改的命运，但我依旧会盼望有变化的一天
眼泪不自觉地流了满脸，
昨天刚得到消息时，只觉得很愤怒
当愤怒过后，随即而来的是悲伤
伤痛随着眼泪，慢慢地向我倾诉
但，一切都无法改变了
命运改不了

任性

最近的我，很任性

任性地想逃避

任性地不想负责任

任性地颓废

一如上一个部落所说的

我失去自我了

*

今天，知道了MID SEM EXAM 的成绩

很差，真的很差

可是它却再也引不起我的斗志了

朋友很讶异地看着我

当她知道的时候

haiz，

我也不懂，

感觉上，成绩已经不是能激发我的工具了

*

之前，很想说

我很想任性一下

不想面对这么多

可现在的我，

算是已经任性够了

*

难道，成人的世界就是这样吗？

那我可以很任性地说，

我不想长大吗？

我的理智告诉我

不可能

*

有时候在想，

早熟的我是否错过了太多太多可以任性的时候呢？

escape

I feel like my soul is dying recently...
having no reason for everything..
unconsciously i know i'm escaping..
escape from all the responsiblity,hope, expectacy from others...
can I ask myself to stop all these??
can I ask myself not to give myself so much pressure??

I assume that all these while I've been too stress..
I'm so tired and I just wanna escape from all these..
and yet, my superego don't let me do all these..
all these while, when escaping..
deep in my soul, I feel so guilty for it..
guitly for not performing well,
guilty for not responsible at all..

I guess, I'm facing some sort of crisis within me
but, the question is, when will all these end le??

宁静的夜

忘了已经有多久没有静静的享受夜的宁静了

最近的天气都是阴森森的

晚上根本不需要开风扇都很冷

冰冷冷的夜让我想念家里那温暖的床

让我觉得冷冰冰的还有自己的心

*

最近的我，好像已经不是我了

没了动力，就像失去了灵魂

每天为了赶功课而赶

为了考试而赶

我已经忘记了读书的乐趣了

忘了自己寻找的方向

就在这迷茫，冰冷的夜晚

我迷失了自己

*

望着月光，盼望月光能替我寻回遗失了的我

没了灵魂的我，每天过着行尸走肉的生活

就像一台没有生命的机器人

为了达到目标，麻木地工作

*

内心有一股很强的力量想要放弃

放弃我一直追求的梦

可是为什么是在我如此靠近它时呢？

我不甘心，真的不甘心

为什么

为何要如此的耍我？

自己就像被两股拉力拉得几乎要崩溃了

*

继续，我没有动下去的理由

放弃，我不甘心一切就归于零

*

这一切一切的挣扎，让宁静的夜不再宁静~~

BusY...

can I ask myself to stop for a while??
er.. I should say can i ask all the assignments to stop pushing me anymore...
it's really been a busy month after all..
although it is busy time but still i seemed like losing the spirit on it..
I am just doing for the sake of doing it only..
I study just for the sake of exam or quiz..
hmm.. this is not the real me wo~~

I am the one so into study and get knowledge de wor,
how come now all change already??
I seemed like losing the passion on study le..

I just take 16 unit this sem but yet I feel like very very busy..
maybe is dunno how to really manage my time and I am so not motivated ar!!

should I get back to my motivation book and try to remotivate myself??
ArGHHhhh....
what should I really do ar??
Passion oH pAssion,
where are you?
why are you keep playing games with me??
fast fast come back to me la...

I wish that I could make some changes to my life now,
not to blame but appreciate all the stuff that I have..
sO, am I blaming??
er.. maybe gua..
I blamed my passion for leaving me all alone in UKM and with bundle of assignments..
I blamed myself for letting Passion go..

what a busy but meaningless life without Passion!!!
:S
:(