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回归原始

回来了,

放假回来了

这代表什么呢?

代表了

我应该让自己回归原始了

回到了原点

回到了充满干劲的自己

虽然可能很假

但是如果连我自己都不相信自己可以做到

那,我凭什么做到呢?

朋友们叫我放下

放下不属于我的烦恼

放下不属于我的问题

可是放下有那么容易吗?

我的脑像是有自己的意识

会主动地帮我过滤我应该注意的东西

应该烦恼的烦恼

现在我应该做的事

就是试着告诉我的思维

我,张恩万不会被打败的

我不会因为不属于我的烦恼而一蹶不振

我会让自己完美无缺的打完这场战争

以绝佳的姿态胜出

*

就让我回归原始的自己

让我的潜意识再次展翅高飞

就让那个充满干劲,活力充沛的我

重现江湖

老了

最近,总是觉得自己苍老了许多

不知道是不是真的因为年纪越来越大

做起事情来,总是觉得力不从心

容易觉得累

累的不只是身体上的累,

更是心灵上的累

我常常觉得我很累了

我不想去面对

我想逃避

我想走开,到远远的地方

让自己好好的放松一下

本来想藉助假期

让自己抛开沉重的包袱、压力

重新的调理心态,好重新出发

可是,

我办不到

我是停下了脚步

可是我调理不回我的心态

是否因为我真的老了呢?

已经不复当年的英勇……

*

最近的我,常常看到自己的缺点

常常怀疑自己的能力

常常觉得我应该可以做到更好

常常睡很少

常常早出晚归

常常把功课搁在一边

常常忘了联络朋友、家人

常常情绪失控

天啊!这不是老人才有的症状吗?

*

我原本的心灵年龄就已经比现实的来的大许多

现在我想我已经去到老年人的心态了~

好像就是Erik Erikson里第6或第7各阶段酱..

我到底要怎样才能突破自己,

再次寻回那青春的思想、英勇的姿态呢?

爱情



爱情,在不同时代有不同的定义。现代定义为两个人基于一定的物质条件和共同的人生理想,在各自内心形成的对对方的最真挚的仰慕,并渴望对方成为自己终生伴侣的最强烈、最稳定、最专一的感情。但在远古的母系社会、古代的父系社会,爱情有另一种体验,并不是单纯的一夫一妻制。爱是生命的渴望,情是青春的畅想,爱情的意义在于:让智慧和勤劳酿造生活的芳香,用期待与持守演绎生命的乐章,用真诚和理解还有包容和信任去谱写人生的信仰。


那,是百度百科内爱情的定义~

我对爱情的定义还没到那么深,我认为,爱情是留给有资格的人去享受的。如果你是有了足够的心理准备、有了成熟的思想、有了包容的心,那你将会有条件去谈一场轰轰烈烈的爱情;可是如果你没有哪一些条件的话,那你注定要被爱情所伤、被爱情所困。爱情不是一切,可是它却能点缀你的人生~

*

而这是爱情心理学的分法
喜欢式

爱情,只有亲密,没有激情和承诺,如友谊。

迷恋式

爱情,只有激情,没有亲密和承诺,如初恋。

空洞式

爱情,只有承诺,缺乏亲密和激情,如纯粹为了结婚的爱情。

浪漫式

爱情,只有激情和亲密,没有承诺,这种“爱情”崇尚过程,不在乎结果。

伴侣式

爱情,只有亲密和承诺,没有激情。这里指的是四平八稳的婚姻,只有权利、义务却没有感觉。

愚蠢式

爱情,只有激情和承诺,没有亲密。没有亲密的激情顶多只是生理上的冲动,而没有亲密的承诺只不过是空头支票。

完美式

爱情,包含激情、承诺和亲密。只有在这一类型中我们才能看到爱情的庐山真面目。

社会学家J.A.Lee将爱情分成六大类



(1). 性爱型(eros):是激情爱(迷恋)的典型,重点放在性的吸引以及感官的满足。

(2). 分享型(storge):是友谊爱的典型,特征是相互关心和有相同的兴趣与理想,以相互信任为基础的长期关系。

(3). 狂爱型(mania):是一种占有和强迫式的爱,特征是缺乏安全感以及相当依赖,占有情人且容易吃醋。

(4). 无私型(agape):是无我的爱,愿为伴侣牺牲自己,只管付出不管回报,将倾其所有与爱人分享一切,并致力让伴侣快乐。

(5). 实际型(pragma):讲求实际的爱情,特点是重视回报。

(6). 游戏型(ludus):将爱情看做是一种游戏,玩弄爱情,关系不稳定。
那是由Robert Sternberg写的Triangular theory of Love. 说明了爱情有3大成分组成~


那是他的理论,那我的呢?


我绝对同意因为那3大成分几乎是基本的元素来的~

除此之外,爱情包含的应该是适当的时机吧!

有时候,有了亲密、承诺、激情,偏偏就不是对的时候

有时候,对象来了,可是却少了些化学作用

有时候,到你想要谈恋爱的时候,却没有对象啊

所以,我看来,爱情是需要4大成份的:

亲密、激情、承诺和时机!!

*

最近眼看身边的朋友一一地陷入爱情的世界

进进出出的

看得我眼花缭乱~

有的甜蜜、有的哀愁

而身边的朋友、家人也异常的关心我的感情世界

不懂是不是大家认为我年纪不轻了,

是时候应该尝尝爱情的滋味了呢?

想泼一泼冷水说,

本小姐还没有心理准备、没有成熟的思想、没有绝佳的包容心

所以,那种遍体鳞伤的爱情我不想要~

*

想看我陷入爱情世界的朋友们,

谢谢关心了!

我想,应该还会有一段日子吧!

除非,我突然改变主意吧~

不过应该几率很小吧!=P


Imbalanced me

It's been the Holidays that I waited for so long..
While taking some break time, I discover something within myself..

I notice that I started to become imbalance.
Imbalance in term of everything..
I am not as healthy as before, easily fall sick and get tired..
I am not as rational as before, emotion comes and goes easily..
I am not as steady as before, I doubt myself more and more frequent recently..

When I look at my coursemates, some of them are getting closer and closer..
Meanwhile I felt that I been so far away from them.
I neither wanna talk nor think about why it happen..
This make me reflect back on the Friendship issue I brought last time..

Friend,
What make a friend?
How people can be good friends?
Why people willing to spend time, effort, and energy on people that they call friend but not to the others?
Where can find those that are "gam" to be friends?
Who are those that can be consider friends and what differentiate them from others?
When can these friendship last for long?

For me,
Relationship, either friendship or romantic kind of relationship,
is fragile, very fragile..
X can be friend with B when problem 1 occur
X can be friend with C or D when problem 2,3 occur but no longer friend B..
Simple problems might kill the relationship..
A simple misunderstanding will cause a big trouble in the relationship..

Since it is so fragile, should we give more time on it?
But the matter is HOW?
Every single individual in this world have their own thinking and way of doing things.
Your way might match with individual A,B,C,D but not with X,Y,Z
Aren't it been very tiring if to match all by altering our own style?

As stated in my own profile there,
I describe myself as a rational and radical person..
Yes, indeed, I am still a rational and radical person..
I been tired of adjusting
I been tired of waiting
I been tired of hoping other to understand me
I been tired of seeing all those easy changed world
YET
This is the reality world
This is what happen in real life
This is what we call as LIFE

This post gonna be a real long one..
Am trying very hard to release all my imbalance emotions..
If I got the time, I want to get close to everyone that I wish to..
If I got the patient, I want to listen to all friends problem..
If I got the passion, I want to change all the bad and negative thinking among friends..
The matter is, I don't have all that..

Who don't wish to have a lot of friends and people care for them?
Who don't wish to get people listen to them?
I didn't mention my problems always doesn't mean I don't have problem..
It doesn't means that I don't need time from other to listen to me..
It doesn't means that I been so selfish that I care so little about others..

Yet, I am glad I have a bunch of best pals with me..
Thanks again to you guys!
When I think of you all, I felt much better and balanced back!


This holiday would be a right timing for me to balance up all things and get back to the usual me again!

p/s: This post is just a sharing of emotion and thought, not referring to any single object nor people ^^

放假!

之前决定给自己好好地休息休息,就在这个假期中~

可是回到家中,

不管有多少东西要做,踢我也不会动了

回到家中的我,

就像王一样

什么都不用烦

什么都不用做

天天吃饱睡,睡饱吃

就快像只猪了啦!

回到家中,

就已经习惯被家人宠的感觉!

有人帮我准备一切一切

不用我去想

不用我去烦

真是快活~~~

可是,也有点不好

我变得习惯了

我习惯有人宠我

我习惯有人帮我搞掂一切

我变得不爱听教

变得不耐烦

变得贪心

我真的太不应该了吧!

我把一切一切都看得太理所当然了

是时候改变一下心态了啦!

不管怎样~

大家大家,假期快乐!!!

完成!

终于完成了!!

明天去解放解放

礼拜二再来做最后的冲刺!

我好像看到可爱的假期正在跟我打招呼了~ =)

Friends...


I am glad that I have such nice friends with me now~
I might be busy that I couldn't always ask and care about others..
But my friends are understanding!

They are those people that make me feel warm always!
They are those people that make me feel that I worth for their care..
They are those people that care about me when I am stress up, when I am sad, when I am tired!

I am glad that I have you all! =)
am glad that the problems between us gone!
am glad that I found another best friend!
am glad that when I am depress, there are someone that knocked me and chat with me!
am glad when I feel down and want to express my feeling, there are someone that willing to listen to me!

Thanks to Grace,
Thanks to MeiWen,
Thanks to ChingMan,
Thanks to Patrick,
Thanks to Jarod,
Thanks to Timmy,
Thanks to ShuShean
and all those that care about me=)

最后的赶工+感想!

现在步入最后的阶段

还有一点点就完成了!

感觉上好累哦~

这真不是人过的生活啊!

排山倒海的功课、责任等等

真的让我充分的学习时间管理~

*

以前的我,

凡事都想要要求完美,

功课我总是老早就解决!

每天闲闲没事做,上网看戏等等的

*

现在的我,

想要要求完美也没有那个本事了

一天24小时对我来说并不足够!

对于需要充分睡眠的我来说,

这两个月的睡眠量肯定是我人生以来最少的了!

时间管理,

看似容易,做时难!!!

*

套一句我常常对members说的话,

我们都在学习啊!

对,我真的是彻彻底底地重新学习一向以来我引以为傲的时间管理!

还有人事……

站在这里看到的,

原来是充满缺点的自己

越做下去,我越没有自信

真的好惭愧

咳,真不知道该如何让自己重拾信心~